Keeping up with the Joneses

War of the Commas

2012-01-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

There is a war going on.

Make no mistake about it.

But this war is not fought with guns, biological weapons, or a near consistent stream of incompetent chiefs of staff. No, this war is being fought with the delete key. You see, folks, I was horrified when I found out it was the Oregon state government's official stance not to use the Oxford comma. What is the Oxford comma?

This morning I ate sausage, toast, eggs, and cheese.

The Oxford comma is the comma after "eggs."

State of Oregon's (read: insanely incorrect) way:

This morning I ate sausage, toast, eggs and cheese.

Do your eggs and cheese go together? Eggs with melted cheese? A cheese omelet? If you're just making a list, then you need to separate each item of your list with a comma. Because you could have had eggs with a slice a cheese on the side, you know, next to your toast. But how would you communicate that with no Oxford comma? So let's be consistent. To me and every other rational person, taking out the comma means the two items somehow go together.

Now, technically the Oxford comma is optional. But then again, putting on mascara while cruising in a high speed boat during insane turbulence is optional too. What's that? You're begging for another example? Let me pull it out of my arsenal. In the book "Eats Shoots and Leaves" the author made the following argument (which is obviously the title of the book)

A Panda Bear walks into a bar, eats shoots and leaves.

or

A Panda Bear walks into a bar, eats, shoots, and leaves.

Depending on comma placement the above sentence can have two meanings. Does Panda Emerson Bear peacefully eat bamboo shoots and leaves in a bar while reading some Jane Austen? Or does a P-Money Bear walk into a bar, shoot the place up, and then peaces out?

That's it. The situation is out of control. I now have to add onto my life's agenda the complete domination of the English language. Mandatory usage of the Oxford comma will be my first act as Dictator. Inviting the semi-colon and the colon to the cool kid's table will happen within the first week. I'll build up my popularity, and then banish hyphens from the kingdom. Oh, and you better believe starting sentences with conjunctions will be all the rage.

2011 Debbie Downer

2011-12-19T18:45:00.001-08:00

September? Really? That was my last post?

Remember in January when I made it my new years resolution to blog more? If you don't, scroll down for about two seconds and you will see said post. Well, what can I say but...meh. What's a girl gonna do? Sit down and blog, I suppose. But that would take vital time away from the awesomeness that is AJ, Downton Abbey, and white grape juice consumption.

And, as I alluded to last post, this year has been the worst. I absolutely hated 2011. And please don't try to make a Positive Polly out of this Debbie Downer. Because this Debbie Downer will not magically transform until exactly 12:00 am on January 1st. And yes, I can tell my emotions exactly what I want them to do at the moment I want them to do it. Some superpower I have picked up over the years. And yes, I still do believe in the power of New Years, even though it's one of my least favorite holidays.

I write this blog post because I love reading blog posts that are refreshingly honest. Something about them makes you feel like it's OK to have problems. Alex and I have been trying for a baby for about a year. I got pregnant half way through, but lost the baby in July. And after a horrible, long miscarriage process I'm still not back to normal.

So, see ya Debbie Downer 2011. Or Negative Nancy? I might like Negative Nancy 2011 a little better.

Here's to Positive Polly 2012. See you on the flip side.

My picture-taking abilities

2011-09-11T21:54:00.001-07:00

May. really? That was my last post?

Here's the kicker. I want to post. I really do. But I always think I will only post once I get the pictures uploaded. but...

I HATE posting pictures on my blog. Not because I have some weird privacy issue, but because you have to get out the cord, get out the camara, wait for it to load, upload the picture into the blog, only to realize that it messes up all of your text and you have to go back and fix everything. And I don't even like taking pictures in the first place.

So, until I get the motivation, you're going to have to create mental images of my summer in your head. I'll give you key words:

Hawaii Trip.

Picture one: a hotter version of Tom Cruise, bamboo forrest, me kissing the hotter version of Tom Cruise

Picture two: sunset, beautiful boat on ocean, drunken shirtless man sitting on the side

Other exciting summer pictures:

Picture three: my grandma garden. So named for the floral tablecloth, assortment of mixed pots, and the pansies

Picture four: little Dalen at the waterfall in Utah

Picture five: the new car we got. Alex with a look of pure happiness.

And I honestly think that's all of the pictures we took this summer. I don't know. I need to look through my camera and maybe it would surprise me.

Another reason for me not posting: This summer has been a mix. We've had really, really good times (Hawaii, Family Re-FLU-union, my hot husband, etc). And then we've been thrown some unexpected curve balls this summer. The curve balls that come around and slug you in the gut a couple of times. Most of the time, I feel like life just flat-lines. Not this summer. Ups and downs. A growth spurt, I suppose.

I have read a lot of biographies where people pinpoint periods or years in their life, when looking back they say "that was bad." Not that I am ungrateful for the good times in Summer 2011, but "that was bad." I am grateful for the lessons I've learned, and how much I have changed in such a short period of time. But Alex and I agree, and we are SO happy to say hello to Fall 2011.

From Cows to Cars

2011-05-24T17:54:00.001-07:00

I have an incredibly important, marriage-saving correction to make to the last blog post.

Alexander M. Jones, upon reading the last blog post, immediately told me that I need to write a correction. He dictated the following, word for word:

"My husband is not a pansy. He does not want a girly Golf. He wants an R20, which is based on a Golf platform, but with 265 horsepower, all wheel-drive, six speed manual, limited slip dif, and German upscale interior. I am ashamed that I would ever insinuate that my husband would even give 5 minutes worth of thought to such a pansy car."

I think I said Golf because I knew Golf was a VW, Alex likes VW, it was a VW car manual he was looking at, and Alex likes the sport Golf, so it just kinda stuck with me? I don't know. Whatever.

Cars are Alex's passion. His way of winding down every day includes watching snippets of Top Gear (probably the best TV show ever, and I don't even like cars), along with researching various aspects about various types of cars. I can't count how many times he goes into the office and closes the door with an "OK babe, I really got to study." And then not 30 minutes later do I hear sound bites from Alex's car you-tube tour: peel-outs, engine revs, and gear shifts.

I guess I will always be subjected to what the men in my life are passionate about:

When I was young, my father would always take us out to dairies. While driving by the cows he would stop the car, point at a cow and say "See that cow right there? (shakes finger) I bet you could get a good 10 gallons of milk out of that heifer. See that one over there? She'll do 12, easy." Every time we go to a dairy.

Now that I'm married, I get this every time we drive. "See that car right there? (shakes finger)She'll do 0 to 60 in 4 seconds flat. But that one over there, she'll do 3.5, easy." Every time we drive.

My husband pays more attention to what's on the road than the road itself. And nothing makes him more angry than a person that has a good car, but doesn't know how to drive. If you own a GT3 RS and you're not drag racing at every stoplight, then in Alex's opinion, you simply don't deserve to have it. This world has seen no greater injustice than rich people who buy incredibly powerful cars, but have no clue what that machine is capable of.

So, mea culpa, we will NOT be buying a Golf.

NOT Keeping up with the Joneses

2011-05-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

My mother informed me that my blog is lame.

"It shouldn't be named Keeping up with the Joneses. It should be called NOT Keeping up with the Joneses."

This statement was followed up a chuckle, and dare I say a slight snort on my mother's part. And a look of pure bafflement about how my mother processes humor on my part.

Alright, so I struggle.

New Years resolutions not going so well. Blogging. Picture-taking. All down the toilet. I told AJ the other day that this is not my fault. Indeed, it is his fault. I don't blog because I don't have a computer. I don't take pictures because my camera is so 5 years ago. I informed him of this as he munched on an apple while reading a manual about the new Volkswagon Golf (I think our next car, folks). The next day, he picked me up from work and we, with the help of our Best Buy Homeboy Ricky, bought a new Dell.

And here I am. With my own computer that will never be taken away from me for law school finals.

What new years resolution have I kept? Sudoku. I am going to toot my own horn for a little bit and tell the blogging world that I have indeed mastered that game.

And I will try and take more pictures with my ghetto camera.

Winchester Mystery House

2011-02-28T18:39:00.001-08:00

It's as mysterious as it sounds. Here's the DL. Crazy Lady. Lots of money. Windows in the floor. Doors that open to 50 ft drops. Evil spirits looking to sabotage. Who needs books when there's this much excitement in life?

Resolutions

2011-01-06T20:03:00.000-08:00

Alright.

Time for New Year's resolutions. Mine? Blog more. Take more pictures. Write in my journal more. Reconnect with friends (i've met some premium people in my life, and I would hate for those premium people to exit). And master Sudoku, beginner's level.

Goal 1: Blogging Look at me go. It's January 6. That's 6 days worth of slacker. But, minus the days I was on vacation and had no computer, minus the hard work day, minus the day I simply didn't want to (I apparently picked up a love of comma splices) leaves me 2 days slacker qualified. Not too shabby.

We celebrated Christmas in Texas. Cowboy Christmas. Yee-haw! Me, Alex, and his Beard drove to Sacramento (to see his parents for a bit and help them celebrate their anniversary), flew to Dallas, stayed for a week and celebrated Cowboy Christmas. My entire family was there (not a easy thing considering we live on opposite coasts): Mom, Dad, Harley, his wife Wendy, two adorable boys Anderson and Maxwell, Janna, her son Dalen, Jimmy, dead cow that was to be Christmas breakfast, and numerous extended family. You want more Cowboy Christmas? Oh, I'll give it to you. But only a taste:

No, no, no folks. That is not a hotter lookin' John Wayne demanding that you paint your wagon. That's just Alex in a cowboy hat at my aunt's house.

Maxwell appreciated the beard that his aunt failed to. You see, Alex went through finals and refused to shave. Hence, it became the "finals beard." After finals, no razor. It slowly morphed from "finals beard" into "Christmas Beardy." It kept growing and growing. I was fairly certain is was going to start demanding things: ice cream, popcorn, blood. Think Little Shop of Horrors, but with hair. I didn't allow it to become New Years Beardy-cakes. Nope. It done got cut off. And no Cowboy Christmas is complete without a honky tonk Jimmy:

And time with Grandpa Bo:

I hardly have any more pictures. Isn't that so sad? I am a horrible picture taker. If you want to see the fantasy land we call Cowboy Christmas, please refer to my sister-in-laws far superior blog "DC Diva". I don't even know how to do a link. Anyway, back to pictures, I took like five. Which leads me to:

Goal #2: Take more pictures.

Guess what happened January 1, 2011 7:30 am at Disneyland? Camera broke. Got one picture. But thank goodness it's a good picture.

This is me on Dumbo. You can't see Dumbo, how beautifully Disneyland was decorated, my hot husband Alex, or my fantastic in-laws, but my blue eyes sure had a good time.

Yep, after Cowboy Christmas we got in a car, drove to Albuquerque with Dad & Co., flew out of Albuquerque to LA, and went to Disneyland with the Joneses. Nobody, and I mean nobody, does Disneyland like my in-laws. The Marines boot camp? Mere child's play. 32 miles in 2 days, folks. That's how seriously we take Disneyland. 32 miles worth of seriousness.

Goal #3: My Journal writing is going about as good as my blogging...so...

Goal #4: You fine folks can expect a phone call, an email, and/or a facebook poke (which, who in the world created that feature).

Goal #5: I'd rather not talk about it.

Salinger and Puzzle-Making Rockstars

2010-08-22T16:45:00.001-07:00

My last post earned the grade of "Lame-o" from the familia. No more philosophical crap, I promise.

Where has the time gone? I'll tell you where the time has gone, sucked down the tube of witty depression also known as JD Salinger. Apparently, the man kicked the bucket a couple of weeks ago. My co-worker was appalled, I tell you, absolutely appalled that I have never read Salinger. Sure enough, I get into work and on my desk were a couple of his pieces: oddly, none of them were Catcher in the Rye. So I sat down to enjoy his Nine Stories, Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters, and Seymour: An Introduction.

Conclusion: I'm not going to read Catcher in the Rye. Sometimes I think he was so focused on how he was writing, that he wasn't really concentrating on what he was writing. And to be honest, I expected a little more from a self-proclaimed recluse. No really, I kinda did. You know, something that demonstrated an insane amount of time devoted to self-reflection, ending in some happy discovery. Nope. If that man had something of value to say? What a muse! But, according to wikipedia, he squandered all of his meditative powers on convincing women 30 years his junior to drop out of college and be his live in. What a man.

Final Analysis: Had the potential to land among the Hardys and the Lawrences, but flew past the James' and the Rands, and only ended up among the Chekovs and the Eliots of my literary good graces.

More news in the Jones household:

Alex and I tend to go through phases. One week its confetti cake, the next week it's putting at the golf course. This week is officially chess week. Almost every night we play chess. Did you know I was married to Bobby Fischer? Neither did I. "Bobby Fischer! where is he? I don't know, I don't know!" SNL skit? Will Ferrell? anybody? No? Ok. Well, rest assured that Bobby Fischer, who also recently kicked the bucket, is now in my dining room. Demanding confetti cake while moving his pawn to 4b.

And, because I promised long ago. Behold! My puzzle-making abilities!

What's that? You feel ripped off. Wait, please let me explain. This was a cheap puzzle. The sky pieces came apart: the back of the puzzle pieces, the cardboard, was completely unattached from the picture of the piece. I hadn't the patience to match the two. Here's proof:

My nephew, Dalen, is also wicked good at puzzles. Look how happy they make him. He put his 10 piece puzzle together in nothing flat. His aunt gave him a couple of chocolates as his reward for being a puzzle-making rockstar. All in the family.

Dumping Emerson and Getting Tolstoy: A Strange Testimony

2010-07-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

I'm dumping Emerson for Tolstoy. That's right, you heard me. He's my new literary heart-throb. Now, Ralphy baby, don't cry. I'll remember the good times, promise.

So, I'm on this big kick right now. Transforming my Copernican view of world: that is, examining the details of a subject, without understanding how it relates, and indeed can mirror, the truth of the whole. Instead, I've been trying to comprehend truth in mass: understanding the greater whole, absent the intense study of the parts. The result has been numerous amounts of journal keeping, and the reading of all sorts of books. I got the idea when I was 17: noticing how stellar evolution closely mirrors a society's acceptance of intense ideologies.

By the way, I fully realize that this post is a little strange, but bear with me...

And that's why analogies, at least according to my BFF (that's right, downgraded to the rank of BFF) Emerson, are all the rage. Because events in nature closely resemble our interactions with each other and the philosophies we espouse. But I think Emerson's causal mechanism is wrong. He thinks, or at least my interpretation of what he thinks, that we unwittingly pattern our lives after nature. I don't think that's true. But I also don't think the presence of patterns is a coincidence. I think it's because everything, from science to philosophy, is pending on a certain law. One natural law.

For example, how planets move in space is similar to, and I think obeys the same law as how the parts of an atom move in relation to each other. But take that exact same philosophy out of the silo of science, and apply to other phenomena: how subjects move in relation to their leader, how the idea of a more democratic God has moved in relation to the acceptance and application of a democratic society.

I base my beliefs on the fact that God is efficient.

If a process works: can be deduced by mankind, is economical in its use of energies, well then, why would God re-invent the wheel? Mankind, god-fearing or not, naturally obey these laws when patterning society because they must be obeyed. One cannot fall off a tree and claim gravity does not exist. Likewise, one cannot form a government and not expect certain social behavioral patterns.

I don't think efficient processes are as common as they seem. So one law, or a series of a very few related laws, must be governing the world. Every aspect of the world.

And that's where my homeboy Tolstoy comes in.

The reason why all of this was brought up is because I was reading Tolstoy, and he was going off on how the history of mankind cannot be pinned on the will and whims of one individual. That one cannot study the parts and expect to comprehend the whole. And I couldn't help but thinking, "Man, a lot of this man's philosophical, historical, and even scientific questions, can be answered by Mormonism, though it's theocratic." And then I was bored tonight, so I started googling Tolstoy, and lo and behold. A little caption appeared "Tolstoy and the Mormons," and this is what I got:

"Dr. Andrew D. White, former president of Cornell University in New York and later the United States Ambassador to Germany, recorded this conversation with Count Leo Tolstoy. While he was United States foreign minister to Russia in 1892, Dr. White had an occasion to spend some time with Count Leo Tolstoy. Leo Tolstoy was a Russian statesman, writer, and social reformer. During their visit, Leo Tolstoy said to Dr. White, "I wish you would tell me about your American religion." Dr. White explained that there were a number of religions in America. Count Tolstoy said "I want to know about the American religion...the church to which I refer...is commonly known as the Mormon Church." Dr White said, "I know very little concerning them." Count Tolstoy said, "Dr. White, I am greatly surprised...(they) teach the people not only of Heaven and its attendant glories, but how to live so that their social and economic relations with each other are placed on a sound basis...if Mormonism is able to endure, unmodified, until it reaches the third and fourth generations, it is destined to become the greatest power the world has ever known."

And that's why I like the Church. So many of its principles are mirrored in the laws of sciences, arts, and different philosophies. As Tolstoy pointed out, it's not just theocratic, it's social, it's economic. There have been so many times when I'm reading the scriptures, and my mind goes off to think about very different matters, completely unrelated, and much to my astonishment, I find a correlation. That's more than a religion. It's truth. It's the discovery of universal laws.

Design

2010-06-18T23:15:00.001-07:00

Does anybody else get stressed out about designing their blog?

Heavens.

Well, after about 10 minutes of farting around, this is what you get. A bad experience in a library. You always know the library is sketch when all the have is titleless paperbacks. No seriously, I've been in some like that.

Enter Jackson County MO library stage left. It weakly waves to the crowd.

If I cared more I think I would pay people to do this. But I don't. I'll get around to changing it in a year.

Bad news. I still haven't put the pictures on my computer and am far too lazy to get up and get the camera. Good news. I was proactive enough to get David Bowie's greatest hits transferred to my ipod.

At least I have my priorities straight.

Allergies

2010-06-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

My allergies have morphed from the I-need-an-occasional-tissue allergies, to the full-blown (oh the puns!) handkerchief needed at my side 24/7 allergies.

I may or may not carry a pink hanky filled with snot into work. Don't worry, I won't shove that sentence into the realm of the definite. If you want to view me as far too sophisticated for such deeds, go right ahead.

That's the magical thing about my blog. You can form your own reality. Except when it comes to Pelosi. And snakes. And monkeys dressed up as people. Trust me, you hate all of those things.

Alex and I just returned from a trip to:

Jerome, Santa Cruz, Winchester House, and the local Wal-Mart.

No really, I have a lot of pictures I need to put up here. Like my puzzle making abilities, proof of, that still are sitting on my camera. We had a great time. We went to Jerome first where Alex practiced his X-box abilities for 18 hours a day. Won the US Open in 2 days. Hardly had to lift a finger. Literally. What a stone-cold fox.

Then we went to Santa Cruz and camped on the beach for 5 days. I got really burned. But don't worry, it translated into a tan faster than the amount of time it took Eric Holder to try and assert his non-existent jurisdictional power over Arizona. I think his mustache beat him to it.

No, really, I'll try to get pictures up this week.

And a tour. I would be just delighted to take all of you on a tour of my apartment.

Emerson and Doors

2010-04-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

Alex is in finals.

Which means I am once again Widow Jones. Oh well, I am getting a lot of reading done. You know, Lord of the Rings, contempory novels my friend is always giving me, and my affair with Emerson. I love him. If there was no such thing as an AJ on this planet, I would marry Emerson and have his babies.

But, there is such a thing as an AJ.

And I'm married.

He was married.

And has been rotting in the ground for the past 150 years.

And then there's the distance-- Concord MA to Oregon-- we couldn't possibly foster a healthy relationship via cell phone.

Also, on reading some first-hand accounts, he had a hygiene issue. couldn't handle that.

Just a few things standing in the way of true love. But, love his brain. Oh yes, and since AJ is in finals, I don't get to use the computer that often because the computer is with AJ all the time. Hence, the reason I haven't blogged, facebooked, or emailed. No technology. Next thing you know, I'm going to start feeding the chickens, running barefoot in the prairie, doing needlework in corsets, and calling on people, just to find things to do.

But, just in case some of you wondered a) I haven't died b) I haven't started a hate-technology revolution. Although (b) is not a bad idea-- not because I hate technology, but rather because I think it would slowly like to see me die. Like the printer at work. The scanning function.

You know what other piece of technology I hate? Doors. So it's a rather old piece of technology, but the door handle on our apartment broke the other day-- as in it was deadbolted, but the handle fell off. So Alex and I had to enter and exit our apartment (did I mention we were throwing a get-together that night?) from our bedroom window. And all of our guests did too. Don't worry, a small ladder was provided. Our parties. They're always a kick. Oh, and the passenger side car door doesn't work either. So I have to roll down the window to open it from the outside. It's been like that for the last three months. I hope we don't plunge into a lake. According to myth busters, I'd be in big trouble.

Survey says

AJ: two thumbs up

AJ finals: two thumbs down, and big "BOOO" from the crowd.

Emerson: thumbs up, wink, wink.

Doors: thumbs down. Ohhhh! Slam!

Struggle

2010-03-12T18:16:00.000-08:00

Lots of things going on in my mind this month. Foremost among them: what is the next five years going to bring? I had an interesting discussion with a friend about career versus motherhood. I have always known I wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I LOVE my career. Not the job I have right now exactly, but the plenitude of opportunities that are making themselves available to me. I'm excited.

I have plans. Big plans. I love what I do. I come home and think about it. It truly is my passion.

There is, however, a little hiccup in these grandiose plans of domination, and it comes in the form of a baby Jonesey (settle yourself down, this is not an announcement). Do I want to have children someday? You bet. But do I also contemplate complete domination of some little bureaucratic corner. Oh, you know I do.

But I can't have both. I don't want to have a kid, hand it over to somebody else, so that person can watch them crawl, walk, talk, babble. Those are my moments. But I can't leave my career. I love it too much. It could be really hard to get back in this field once I leave it. And staying at home all day doesn't sound appealing. At all. I'm not crafty or creative. Bless my heart, I've tried. I've no idea what I'd do hobby-wise. I need people, and I need to feel like I'm producing something. Do you see the problem? I wish there were two of me. One that could have the career, and one that could have the baby.

When it comes down to it, I know which one I'll choose.

I'll just have to figure out a way to run covert political operations out of my home.

Confession Saturday

2010-02-06T12:05:00.001-08:00

Confession: I have a cussing problem.

I know, I know-- I can be better than this. I must be better than this. But seriously, when the printer is down, and you need to get printed reports right away, when your Diet Coke spills all over your keyboard, when you stub your toe, fall down the stairs, when you can't find the piece of paper you just had in your hand a little bit ago...

An "Oh, darn my luck!" or "Golly this stinks!" Just doesn't cut it.

I need to bring out the big guns.

One is issued under my breath, and amazingly, I feel in control of the situation. It's like a deep exhale that expels all negativity, all frustration.

My parents nervously looked at this growing habit of mine in sixth grade. It has only improved with time. It started with my inability to play the F scale on the French Horn. Now, it is pretty much a staple response to every frustration. Don't worry, I don't drop the F-bomb, or any other word of its caliber. I'm a high-class swearer: only using the best. The cuss words of my choice are a limited three-- the evil trio: heck, dang, and shoot. I use "ass" so frequently that I stopped considering it a swear word. I kept pushing the line with that one, so I decided to move the line. A logical solution.

Three situations make me want to correct this habit:

1) I was in the break room reading a book, when this loud man was talking to his friend, using every cuss word in the book. It was foul.

2) I dropped one in a staff meeting. Couldn't believe it.

3) We had a lesson on language at church. It made me feel evil.

So, I need to be better. What do you do when you're frustrated?

Concerning Art

2010-01-29T16:07:00.000-08:00

My teens and early twenties are marked by periods of intellectual bullying. But no more, folks, no more. In fact, I have created a theory on the matter, which I will discuss later.

We have an independent movie theatre, which shows German short films in lieu of previews. Lame. Most of these films are animated: robot carrying out mundane responsibilities over a long period of time, only to realize, as the camera pans out, that the family it serves is nothing more than a pile of rotting corpses. Or the young red-head that throws herself off a bridge for reasons unknown. The peer- pressured response to this? What brilliance! Moving! Stirring! What's running through my mind? Trash. Inefficient manipulation of emotion.

And here's what I've discovered. Among the "artsy" community (of which I am definitely not a peer-- not by choice, but by lack of acceptance and admitted lack of ability) there is an elitism. Now, as with all genres, this elitism is broken up into two categories: the talented, and the talentless. The talented are exactly that, the talented. The talentless, of which there are significantly more of, cannot operate within the confines of common sense, because if they did, the world would call them out for exactly what they are...the talentless. So they have to try something so entirely radical, so new, that nobody can judge them by correct and established standards of what is good, and what is not good. This leads to the process of "breaking boundaries" "forgetting thought" and "sticking it to the man." For those of you who aspire to be talentless artists, don't worry, all you need is a few materials and clinical depression.

I see you demand examples of talentless art.

When in London I journeyed to the Tate Modern Museum. I saw some cool pieces. But my average reaction could be summarized by an extended eye roll and a grunt.

Piece 1: A woman (a rejected artist) was confined to her bed by utter depression. She stayed there for a total of three consecutive weeks, never leaving. The bed was on display at the Tate: dirty condoms, tampons, rotting Chinese food dotted the mattress. Peer-pressured response: an amazing depiction of human life. Common sense, and hence correct response: sick chick, broom is needed.

Piece 2: A room, full of crumpled up paper. That's it. You could leave your own "artistic mark" by crumpling up (or not crumpling) a piece of paper yourself and throwing it into the pile...or not. The choices. But please, requests the staff member on hand, do whatever to the paper as you would to your life, should it manifest itself in a material form...in a moment of retaliation, I did nothing. I guess, according to artistic standards, I don't care to live.

The talented push the boundaries of common sense, and make us aware of what is beyond our view, but is in fact entirely possible. Drawing on old principles of "what is good" and adding the new. Thus moving society forward and up. The talentless, on the other hand, operate entirely out of the boundaries of common sense, never touching them. And respond to every inquiry of their art with "it just is." Their supportive minions-- you know, the kind that tie up their self-importance to their ability to "see beyond" the mundane intellect of the masses-- are quick to jump into a passionate rant: with finger jabs, red faces, and spit flying everywhere.

Don't you have the wits to understand, jab, jab, jab, this depicts the feelings and the meaninglessness of an entire generation, red, red, red, the sheer movement of the work spit, spit, spit, attests to the brilliance of the artist passion, passion, passion, and because you can't understand the artist denotes your ignorance! Brief grunt of disgust, lip curl, haughty turn on the heel, and walk away.

And there it is. Intellectual bullying.

To me, it's akin to holding a 10 cent harlequin romance in your hand and trying to convince some poor, wanting-to-be-accepted soul its as influential and as brilliant as Tolstoy.

Theory: the most brilliant, time-tested artists in society combine common sense, or for the sake of a better analogy, the head, with emotion. I buy into the philosophy that emotion is the engine, and the head is the conductor. An engine needs an operator to move themselves, and any passengers, in a desired direction. A visionary always has direction. Raw emotion, the only ingredient in the work of the talentless, only moves people that don't care where they end up, or those that are intellectually bullied to buy into the art.

On a lighter note, post on my puzzle putting-together abilities is coming soon.

SO how I feel...

2010-01-08T16:53:00.000-08:00

I found this on my brother's blog. EXACTLY how I feel. If only I was as eloquent as Elder Christophersen...

"The societies in which many of us live have for more than a generation failed to foster moral discipline. They have taught that truth is relative and that everyone decides for himself or herself what is right. Concepts such as sin and wrong have been condemned as “value judgments.” As the Lord describes it, “Every man walketh in his own way, and after the image of his own god” (D&C 1:16).

As a consequence, self-discipline has eroded and societies are left to try to maintain order and civility by compulsion. The lack of internal control by individuals breeds external control by governments. One columnist observed that “gentlemanly behavior [for example, once] protected women from coarse behavior. Today, we expect sexual harassment laws to restrain coarse behavior. . . .

“Policemen and laws can never replace customs, traditions and moral values as a means for regulating human behavior. At best, the police and criminal justice system are the last desperate line of defense for a civilized society. Our increased reliance on laws to regulate behavior is a measure of how uncivilized we’ve become.”

In most of the world, we have been experiencing an extended and devastating economic recession. It was brought on by multiple causes, but one of the major causes was widespread dishonest and unethical conduct, particularly in the U.S. housing and financial markets. Reactions have focused on enacting more and stronger regulation. Perhaps that may dissuade some from unprincipled conduct, but others will simply get more creative in their circumvention. There could never be enough rules so finely crafted as to anticipate and cover every situation, and even if there were, enforcement would be impossibly expensive and burdensome. This approach leads to diminished freedom for everyone. In the memorable phrase of Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, “We would not accept the yoke of Christ; so now we must tremble at the yoke of Caesar.”

----------------
This man so completely put together the thoughts I have been having for the last three weeks.
I love genius people. There is just something I love about people that come in, sit down, and in a very calm manner, tell you how it is. No PC, no beating around the bush-- love it.

When I was young, I stumbled across a quote by Abraham Lincoln, that has long since been among my favorites:

"Government should never do for people what they can and should do for themselves."

Apparently self-discipline isn't this generation's forte.

I'm Just a Bill-- the Unsung Version

2009-11-16T17:32:00.000-08:00

There's a really important aspect of government that many people do not understand. I didn't fully understand until AFTER my Masters program.

Many think that law-making occurs by their elected representatives in fancy capitol buildings. That's true. But just the bone structure-- if you're lucky. The blood and guts of a law are interpreted and applied by bureaucrats. It's amazing to me that bills are passed with words that run on and on to, well, nowhere. I'm fairly convinced that a bill spends almost the entirety of its existence explaining and acutely defining the unimportant, and the other 10% of its existence is attached to the purpose for which it was born-- only to barely define it. The legalise dances around the issue like a lunatic while desperately trying to avoid being where it needs to be-- at the center of it all. For the majority of bills, it takes years for a group of fairly intelligent people sitting in meetings trying to both 1) interpret and 2) implement a section, a phrase, or even a word in a bill. And this section, word, phrase could significantly alter the entire purpose of that bill.

So what's a bureaucrat to do? Why, my friends, they create administrative rules. Administrative rules administer laws. They supplement black letter law, and combined, the two create a policy. Administrative rules fill in the holes of a bill-- are you fully aware of how many holes are in a bill?
What do lawmakers mean by "most"? 50%? 100%? All citizens? only the elderly?

What's "in decent time" mean? This century? Tomorrow? Next week? By the end of the year?

Depending on the answer to these little questions, a lot of money and power is at stake.

We're supposed to send out notices when we do this. If you're really lucky, your government will call a public forum. That's if they feel like it. If they do, you don't even want to know how many people show up-- most of them are cancelled from lack of public attendance. Thus, not only do you vote on pieces going up for legislation, but how a passed bill is interpreted (again, IF they call a public forum). Did you even know that?

So that's my problem with people wanting to pass legislation-- big legislation-- very quickly. People are constantly throwing around, what I call, trigger words-- "sustainability" "diversity" "rights" and so forth. You say those words, and people automatically start wetting their pants in pure excitement.

Are we ever questioning what they mean by that word? That word has to be defined, implemented and quantitatively measured. To my knowledge, government uses up to six definitions of sustainability. All of them are very vague. Some interpret them to mean sustainability as "we like to recycle pop cans" to "we believe that people should only have one child, live in high rises with one bedroom, and we need to send around a new plague to decrease the world-wide human population to 600,000 people" (no joke on the later interpretation). So, these highly-charged, very emotionally-driven, bills with vague definitions get passed.

Well, folks, you have to transition from the realm of idealism into the realm of reality somehow.

And let me tell you-- it's not easy, and it certainly isn't pretty.

So congratulations! You passed a vague bill, and a bunch of bureaucrats are desperately trying to figure out what the h%$^ you mean by it. That's IF they're honest. So they turn idealism into the defined. And that's when a bill frequently turns into the thing everybody hates-- because it ruined what they thought sustainability was, or what they thought diversity was. That's if you pay attention to bill implementation.

Life of a Bill Part II: The Depressing World of Implementation.

And the School House Rock board calls an emergency meeting.

Liberalification Project III: I am now the proud recipient of the moveon.org newsletter.

A whole lot of skewing

2009-10-17T09:30:00.001-07:00

Why you don't want government to get involved-- it skews (and screws) everything:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33354321/ns/business-the_new_york_times/page/2/

Yes, yes, MSN. Though they try to end the article on a more positive note, you cannot deny that even these liberals are somewhat back-tracking.

I remember all of my liberal friends and professors saying that if the government doesn't invest, then the economy will end up in the toilet.

I wish I could ask them to prove it.

I think their plan the entire time was:

a) If it (the bailout) failed: we just didn't invest enough. Oh, the long-standing explanation as to why the New Deal ended up largely a failure, and well, not that great of a deal. WWII got us out of the Great Depression. Not the New Deal.
b) If it worked: we rock and had the right answer all along.

The market knows best. Not government. The market.

Mammoths v polar bears (without Al Gore)

2009-10-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

You missed me.

I missed myself.

I've been gone for a while. Alex has the computer (the one with the internet) all day, every day. The only time he doesn't have it is after we get home, and truly, after nine hours of work, the last thing I want to do is blog.

It's so overwhelming, isn't it? The pressure to blog, facebook. No, pressure is the wrong word. I enjoy doing it. But after being gone so long, it piles up, and the task becomes more daunting. Especially as more and more of my friends are becoming bloggers. So many blogs, so little internet time.

What's tonight's occasion? AJ is sick. He got it from me.

So, to reduce my pile of things I want to blog about, I give you the following, fascinating (it's all a matter of optimism and perspective, people) list of things to blog about:

1) Liberalification Project II: An Inconvenient Truth. I would first of all like to rename this into "An Inconvenient Self-Promotion Movie." No, I really did try to watch this with an open mind, but I have to start with the criticism. My immaturity, you see. But seriously. Have you see the movie? No? Let me break it down for you:

Al Gore on his laptop, looks up, and has a studious expression on his face as he gazes out the window.

And then the violins.

And then a sad story (the stories were legitimately sad, which made them all the more inappropriate in this film)

"I remember when my son got hit by a car. It changed my world. We didn't know if he was going to make it."

What's running through your mind as an audience member? "How horrible!" "Is he OK?"

And then Good Ol' Al inserts the bridge "And watching my son fight for his life, made it clear to me what I need to do. Promote Global Warming"

What in the world? Seriously? You related a very serious, close, personal event in your life to global warming? Even if you did believe in global warming-- come on! Oh, and don't you worry, Al did this a number of times, watching his sister die of lung cancer, and his father's death too. All tied back to global warming. Tacky, that's all I could think, tacky.

OK, let's be more diplomatic. I enjoyed the graphs, and the analysis. He made me think, and that's why I watched the video in the first place. One thing I am not entirely convinced of is the strength of the argument that global warming is caused by men. Al said that out of all of the people who wrote on global warming, none of them disagreed that mankind started it. Two things:

1) they may not have necessarily agreed. Maybe their opinion was mute.
2) "Out of all of the people that wrote on global warming" What about climatologists that didn't?

Other than that, he had sound arguments. I have to re-evaluate what exactly I think.

And one more thing:

Everything is all about the polar bears. If a were a living wholly mammoths today, I would sue. Discrimination. Saving the polar bears? blah. Nobody did anything to save us. So me, and my homeboys the saber tooth tiger, and the all of the other mammoths (did you know there were several breeds? I didn't until an interesting Discovery channel), and a select handful of aggressive cave men would march on capital hill. We were around during the last climate change era, you know, before SUV's hit the highways. And where's all the concern about us? I'll tell you where that concern is: too busy cuddling up to polar bears.

2) Apparently the Nobel prize is all about intent. My intention? To make the best cornbread ever for Friday's church festival. Think I can get an Nobel for that? Oh, I think so. They're handing those things out like candy. And my cornbread deserves candy. Trust me.

3) Love Suppernanny.

4) I passed the water temple in Zelda.

5) I've been reading about the history of England. And another book on what it was like to be a Dark Age peasant. What I learned: you don't want to be a Dark Age peasant. It's dark. And infected.

6) And I am still on Atlas Shrugged. It's going to be a year long book.

Liberalification

2009-09-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

So, in order to further expand my mind and broaden my views, I go through a weekly process of "liberalification."

Once a week, I liberalify myself by reading and watching heavily biased books and videos. And it makes me think. I try to have an open mind and absorb what the work wants to convey. The majority of the news I watch is liberal, but I am becoming so conservative that I decided I needed a little more liberal in my life. Hence liberalification. My new hobby.

But my liberalification project this week horrified me. In fact, it was so far left, it wasn't left. Tell me what you think:

I signed up for the Diversity Conference the State of Oregon was putting on for all employees. The conference was broken up into three sections-- one large gathering (there were about 500 people there), and two small break-out sessions. During the large assembly, I heard the following stories:

The first speaker talked about how similar she was to the friends that she grew up with: they watched the same TV shows, read the same books, did the same activities, etc. Except she was black. When she became more educated, she realized that her white friends were holding her back because they did not treat her like she was black, they treated her like she was one of them. Thus, by accepting her as one of them, they made her forget her heritage and not appreciate her black skin. They also (the white culture) taught her that celebrating Thanksgiving and Columbus Day were OK, even though those holidays are racist.

She then went on to say that she worked for an NGO in Arizona, and loved its diversity because it had no white people.

The second speaker, truth be told, was pretty good. She taught us about paradigm shifts. But she did say some crazy things... like she was at another diversity conference, and the speaker divided everybody up-- black women over there, white males over here, Asian women over there, etc-- and then had each group talk about how similar they are to each other, and how different they are from the rest of the groups. She had a white male friend that came in late and asked her (the second speaker) what was going on. She told him that they were separating into groups, to which the white male responded "I didn't know I was in a group." And she was shocked that this poor white man did not know he belonged to such an apparent click.

There's a name for an acitivity like that. What is it? No really, it's on the tip of my tongue...

Segra...

Segre...

Oh that's right, segregation! But wait, isn't that what we're fighting with these conferences, not promoting?

Oh, and she also taught us that one way we know we are not racist, and truly culturally diverse, is if we feel guilty about our individual demographics.

...

And then I went to the last break-out session. The speaker there told us about how they need to help the minorities of his County. The minorities are down, because the system (created by the wealthy) keeps them down, so we need to create a system that doesn't. So, I asked a really, what I thought to be, innocent question. And this is exactly how I phrased it:

"I know this is a very sensitive issue, so I want to be very careful. In your opinion, how much of these statistics is explained by there not being enough opportunities for minorities in the system, versus them simply not taking advantage of the opportunities that are available?"

And I was heckled.

The guy looked at me like I was from Mars. Granted, after his recovery he was very polite. He didn't really answer my question, but did go on to explain how the county received a federal loan to build a 50-mile bike-path, and he fought tooth and nail to not put any of the bike path (there were only 10 miles of it in dispute) in the white neighborhood because "they already had too much already."

...

I simply don't know how to respond to all of this. I got in the car and was so disheartened. We are a lot further from being a non-racist society than I thought. Is there racism? Sadly, yes. And truly, I was subjected to nearly 4 hours of it. I guess my idea of racism and their idea of racism are very different. And usually, in situations such as these, I try to justify the other side, try to find their point of view. But I can't. It's so entirely wrong, counter-intuitive, and void of logic. To emphasize race as a mechanism to decrease racism? To so resolutely separate people based on race as a means to promote cultural exchange? To categorize, group, and pigeon-hole everybody according to their race and sex is so utterly wrong. I don't care what the gender, race, religion, or whatever, of the other individual may be, they're different from everybody else. I could be more similar to a Latino man than to another white woman. That's entirely possible.

My idea of diversity is to listen to everybody. I am not going to focus on their age, gender, disability, sexual orientation, religion, race, or whatever, as a means of passing judgment or preference. Everybody has valued positions, because everybody has lived life, gone through trials, and has learned something. That's diversity.

Oh, and I would like to dispel two myths, two assumptions, if you will that this conference was founded on:

1) Diversity comes in more ways than just differences in race-- there is also diversity of religion/value systems, gender, age, sexual orientation, nationality, language, culture, and so on.

2) There is such a thing as poor white people that need help. I know, it sounds crazy. But if you live a long time, you might be able to spot one.

If you have great ideas for future liberalification projects, please leave them in the comments section below.

Gracias

Co-existing with Hobbies

2009-08-30T20:38:00.001-07:00

I find myself with a sudden need to create.

Not babies. No, not babies.

I was thinking of something with a less hefty price tag, and a little less responsibility. Like a book. I think I want to write. Fiction. I'm sick of poli sci writing. I don't mind reading it, but creating it can sometimes be tedious. I'm not sure what yet, and in truth I am not a good writer. But I want to write. So I think I will.

Maybe it's just separation anxiety. How to operate in a world that doesn't demand essays? No clue.

Oh, and I am taking watercolor classes in October. Sunset at the beach, anybody? I can tell you right now what it will be. Line of peach at the bottom, and a stripe of orange at the top, and that's about it. Oh, and swear words. But those don't end up on the canvas. But if any of you are doing your bathroom in those colors, it can be the perfect over-the-toilet-I-only-notice-it-when-I-am-bored-out-of-my-mind-curling-my-hair piece of art.

I come home from work and I'm bored. TV never really held my attention. And it still doesn't. Alex and I upped the ante and got actual, real, live cable. Sometimes I hold it in my hands. I didn't lie when I told you we were moving up in the food chain. But sadly, HGTV, Fox news, and even Chris Matthews don't do it for me anymore. I need something else.

I need more hobbies. And since I love to read so much, why not be on the other end?

This fad will more than likely pass. As all fads do. So I might end up with two chapters of poorly written words. That might be found in a closet by a girl centuries after I kick off. And the words I write might be a coded message to save the world from a dangerous threat. Like poisonous algae that is being spread by small Argentinian nuns. And the only way to save the world is to resurrect the vampires (vampires-- all the rave right now. Went to Wal-Mart and 3/4 of their books were about vampires.) that have built an immunity to that algae through eating vast amounts of Costco meatballs, which they accidentally mistook for large pig arteries. So they challenge the nuns to a weekly duel, but duels are only fought on Chimichanga Thursdays. Nuns only like to fight after they have had a proper meal. And this pattern continues for three and a half centuries. That is until the panda bears become, after several generations of genetic mutation, fighting machines that know the secret to cold fusion. They naturally start an uprising in a small town in southern China. And their fame begins to spread...fame spoken in hushed whispers: everybody knows Panda Bears have no tolerance for chimichanga-eaters.

And that's just from the top of my head.

It's been forever

2009-08-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry. Not surprisingly, "Dear Journal, sorry I am not a better writer. I will try harder" appears on almost every journal entry I have heretofore written. New favorite word? Heretofore. Least favorite word? Anyways.

This month has been insane. I finished up my Masters at 7:37 am on August 3 (the last paper we had to email to the professor). We packed up the moving truck that night, left at 4 am on August 4 to Sacramento, stayed the night, and drove to Oregon August 5. We unpacked August 6, and I started my job August 7. I slept at least 10 hours every night for the ensuing week. We celebrated our 2nd anniversary August 17 ( love him). Alex started law school on August 19. He thinks he is going to like it- I hope he does. We don't get in fights very often, and even when we do, Alex never gets upset. He always says, very calmly "Sweetheart, there is no logic in what you are telling me. Walk me through, step by step, how you arrived at that conclusion, and maybe we can solve it." And no sentence is more offensive or annoying to my PMSing self than that one. Bottom line: I think Alex will be a good lawyer because of how he thinks. Another bottom line: I need to work on my PMSing self....

moving on

And now am working for the government. It would break my poor conservative heart to give this country one more unneeded bureaucrat. But, I realize I'm not an anarchist, and of all of the jobs I would assign to government, transportation would be one of them. Not education, not health care, not complete and utter domination of every American human being....(oh! the feds! they break my heart!) So, all in all, I think I will really like my job.

About the health care bill-- still reading it. It is insanely long. Some general conclusions thus far:

It's unfunded

It's a great plan-- if you happen to be young, and very healthy. For the old and infirm? Too sad to talk about.

What really shocks me about this bill is that there is already a government option. It's entitled Medicaid. You want to fix the government option? fix Medicaid, and see how that turns out. Let's not completely start a new policy.

It is a huge step toward socialized medicine. What's bad about socialized medicine? There's no incentive for doctors to do well. Innovation will decrease (there will be no financial rewards to create, say, a new pacemaker, or a better artificial heart) and doctors will not be compensated for their unique talents as they should. Further, people will flood the system. When it's free, they'll take it. I studied socialized medicine a little bit when I was in England. People would wait 9, 10 months to get knee surgery. Hospitals are over-filled with non-essential needs. The UK also has a much lower cancer survivor rate than the US. In fact, the US is first in treatment for nearly every disease or ailment. So, the quality of care you receive is substantially lessened. It's just an economic fact.

Does something need to happen to the system? Yes. But I really don't think that completely destroying it is a good way to fix it.

I have substantially more opinions on it. But in an effort to not be too biased, that's it so far.

More on it later.

Oh, oh yes, I almost forgot. Big Brother, oh I'm sorry, Obama, wants to dispel any health care myths that are floating around. So, if you find anything on this blog about the health care bill that is misleading, you can turn me into the feds, at:

flag@whitehouse.gov

You know, because if you are against the health care bill, you must not have had enough sense to a) read it and b) understand it. that's the only explanation for how anybody could disapprove of an amazing plan. Poor americans, we are simply too stupid. Better rely on Pelosi to make our decisions for us. Do I admit that myths against the health care bill are floating around? Yes. But do I also believe that myths that favor the health care bill are floating around as well? You bet. Obama doesn't want to hear about those myths, though.

I also love how Senators and the press are dismissing town hall participants as "angry mobs" and "the discontented minority" or "as stupid as dining room tables."

I've got news for you:

Those are the American people. And if you are finding them at every town hall meeting-- well, you've got a problem on your hands.

Blog = Mandarin Chinese books on physics

2009-07-30T13:15:00.001-07:00

First things first (I love cliches that state the obvious).

I have been told my blog is boring because:

1) I talk too much about politics
2) I have no pictures

If I were a book in a library, I would never be read. Like that huge collection of Mandarin Chinese books on physics from the 1950's in the BYU library-- now seriously, how big is that client base?

Here's the deal, my blog is boring because I am boring.

I try to put the most entertaining things up here-- I don't have cute little ninos, I don't take pictures, and nothing really exciting occurs...what does occur? Politics. Delicious politics. Especially now. So controversial. I feel like an infant watching Baby Einstein while lying in my activity gym with lights flashing and music playing. Over-stimulation. Love it.

The kicker is that people don't like to talk about politics-- it's too controversial for them. "You stay over there, I stay over here, and we won't talk about it." blah. Whatever. Not me. I always think about politics. And that's what I write. I guess I can write what I don't think about... like Einstein's theory of relativity written in Mandarin Chinese.

Oh yes, feel free to disagree with my blog posts. Love discussion.

In fact, I obtained a significantly more boring background to match blog posts. The cuteness of "tin roof" just didn't portray the right ambiance for bashing socialism. I needed to go more hard-core-- hence the red.

As for the pictures--I'll try. No really, I will. Promise.

Big News

2009-07-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

Three items fit under this title:

1) I got the job! I honestly can't believe it. Such a blessing. Blown away. I was on the phone with Carolyn a couple of nights previous to when they offered me an interview. I told her five reasons why I am not likely to get an interview with the State of Oregon government (1- this recession business, 2-people from CA's gov are flocking to OR because CA is virtually bankrupt, and oh yeah, they can hardly function, 3-I am not yet an official OR resident, 4- I still have two more classes for my MPA, 5-many govs are laying off, so they are only hiring internally.) Not only did I get the interview, I got the job! I flew out to Salem on Tuesday, went through the most intense interview process of my life on Wednesday (3 parts- interview before a panel, 20 minute presentation on Statute 319, and then 45 minutes to write a policy), and flew home Thursday. Luckily, some of our best friends already live in Salem, so they left their car for me at the airport (they were in VA for a week) and let me use their house. In short, I got the job that I wanted most out of all of the applications. By the by, I am a Program and Policy Analyst for the State of Oregon Department of Transportation. I basically evaluate operational and administrative procedures, and recommend more efficient methods of operation. I also get to organize and lead public hearings, and work on "task forces" to help pass legislation. So excited. Right up my ally. Very blessed.

2) In other Katie King Jones news, we found an apartment. TWO bedrooms, and wait for it

wait for it...

TWO full baths. Lap of luxury, I tell you what. We found this place on Craig's list. Come and see us. We have a spare bathroom for you to use. We move in five weeks from today.

3) Alex told me I need a hobby besides school, reading, Judge Judy, and watching select sections of Gone With the Wind. So far, this is what I am going to take up when I get to Oregon.

pottery- the city has a couple of classes. I should like it. I am not very creative, bless my heart, but it should be fun. If you get a deformed pot for Christmas... love it, cherish it.

gardening- always enjoyed this, but now that we have our own patio and a climate that actually likes green things, I should be able to grow something. Can we please take a moment to remember those dear Sweet Peas I planted, which met their fatal end last week when it reached over 110 degrees.

......

thank you.

Jewelry Making- Crystal and I use to do this a lot. I saw some cute beads at Michaels and have a new urge.

Badminton- who wants to play?

For Megan

2009-06-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

Me with my MPA cronies shortly before the last final:

Not pictured: David's Bowie's eye shadow, David Bowie's glass balls, David Bowie's tight pants, David Bowie

CA pictures

2009-06-13T16:31:00.001-07:00

Here are my pictures of our CA trip. Please note, that we were hiking/camping for the majority of these pictures. Are there any judgers in the room? Please raise your hands. Yes, you sir in the back, and the woman in eccentric clothing in the front, please leave the room so we can continue with our slideshow. Thank you. Unfortunately, I struggle, and because of my struggle-y-ness (state of struggle) these pictures are in reverse chronological order.

Yosemite:

JELLY BELLY factory! And our BFF Reagan (made out of Jelly Bellys):

Trivia: Reagan kicked his smoking habit with Jelly Bellys

Alex's High School Friends Reunion:

Reid, Pelosi, & Co.- Just kidding, just kidding

The animals pictured below have larger foreflippers

Santa Cruz Pier: The sun was burning, BURNING my eyes

I had a hard time keeping them open for this picture

Camping Katie

Pacific:

Celebrities are hypocrites

2009-06-11T09:18:00.001-07:00

Do you know what I don't get? Rich socialists/liberals. Yes, I don't understand the vast majority of Hollywood. They're hypocrites.

If you truly believed in the principles of socialism, if you truly believed in helping the poor through the re-distribution of resources, than why do you need government to do it for you? Why do you need government to tax 60% of your income? Why can't you redistribute your resources by yourself? They are several very willing charities to take that money, and without a doubt, their systems of redistribution are much more effective and efficient than those of government, with insanely lower overhead costs.

If Sean Penn is really a socialist, then why does he have a mansion? If Richard Dreyfuss practiced what he preached, why is he flying around in a private jet? Why aren't they, like the rest of us, living in a two-bedroom apartment and drinving a 1996 Camry? Because according to the basic tenets of socialism, they still have way too much, and others way too little. So if they really subscribed to the ideology, which they claim they do, why do they live the way they live? I fully acknowledge that these people donate to charities, but it's simply not enough. According to socialism, their lifestyle is way too high.

So, they're hypocrites. They want government to forcibly take wealth from them for two reasons 1) if their lifestyle is going down, they want the lifestyles of others to go down with them (which a general tax increase would do) so they are not seen as less 2) they, deep down inside, value wealth, and know that government (even a pseudo-socialist one like Obama's) would take less from them than truly living the principles of self-imposed socialism would.

Why do you need government to redistribute your wealth when it is 100% within your power to do so yourself? If you really and truly believed in the principles of socialism, why can't you do it? And the added bonus is you get to dictate where your money goes-- unlike when you pay your taxes to the government.

I'll tell you why-- they are deep down inside capitalists.

Toot toot

2009-06-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, I fully realize. And I am fully sorry. Finals were horrific. Amazing how finals can take a once decently good-looking woman and turn her into a creature that should, by all appearances, be dancing next to David Bowie's package-enhancing pants singing "Dance Magic, Dance." And that's exactly what I felt like for two weeks...a goblin muppet creature. Hair was a little greasy and sweaty, constantly pulled back into a messy bun, toenail polish was chipped, fingernails were broken in haphazard ways, and my daily uniform was a solid colored t-shirt, jeans, flip flops, and a coke. But it is all over, my friends, all over. Allow me to toot my own horn:

(tooting own horn commencing)

I did it.

(tooting own horn ceasing)

Don't toot your own horn, folks, it's tacky. I have no idea why I feel the need to claim the privilege.

Two more classes and I have my Masters. They are summer intensive classes, and one of them is online: translation- they're going to be jokes. But, as stressed as I was last semester (and I don't get stressed) I am ready for jokes. Ready to laugh away the extra $1200 ASU charged me with no other explanation than "it's necessary because of the economic downturn."

The kicker is school has been out for three weeks. So what have I been doing in the meantime? I really don't know. Alex comes home from work and I try to give an account of my day, but I honestly don't remember it that much. I read, apply for jobs, went pool-side once or twice, tried to kick the cussing habit, and that's about it. I remember how much I used to squeeze in one day and cannot believe that farting around takes just as much time. Amazing.

Well, Alex and I were able to go on some vacations. Pictures to follow. We went to Sedona (a quaint little village/camp ground in the mountains. Yes, folks, it's true, the upper half of Arizona is cold and has mountains, just like Utah. Come and see. Drop by Phoenix while you're at it.) The plan was to spend Friday night camping in Sedona, and then get up the next morning and take the two hour drive to the Grand Canyon. Alex's family got him lots of camping supplies for his birthday and we were eager to try them out. The only thing we were missing were sleeping bags which Alex picked up earlier that day. We got up there, went on a hike, went out to dinner, sat next to the campfire, and then went to bed in our tent (marketing idea: backpacking tents for the claustrophobic. Seriously. I was borderline panic attack the entire time I was in that tent.) We were freezing. Alex got the lowest degree sleeping bags he could (30 degrees). I guess that's all they sell in Phoenix. We tried to zip the bags together and cuddle. No good.

And about the time we realized that even after an hour of being in the sleeping bags and we were still cold, that's when the frat boys started up. Yes 12 lovely frat boys drinking, singing, and running a very loud generator to watch the Hills. Swearing from all quarters of the campground ensued until 2 am. And we were cold. Oh, so cold. We went home at 3 am. And that, my dear readers, was our foiled plan to see the Grand Canyon. We have since obtained sleeping bags that go to 0 degrees, along with fleece linings that will go and additional 10 degrees below zero. And that's how you camp...with a warm sleeping bag.

We also have been to Santa Cruz, Napa Valley, Jelly Belly factory, and Sacramento. I have pictures. I'll show them to you.

In short, I've been busy with vacations, applying for jobs, and reading.

The cussing habit, unfortunately, remains fully intact.

A Special Surprise for my Envir. Policy Professor

2009-05-07T11:43:00.000-07:00

Do you know what I love?

Coldplay.

Do you know what I hate?

Writing a 25 page paper on Aquatic Invasive Species legislation.

So, to balance the hate with the love, I am listening to Coldplay while writing the paper.

I think that's how Shiver lyrics ended up in the "Economic Values" section.

What's that? you demand a sample?

I'll oblige.

"Because you say you see straight through ships, which are not carrying cargo fill their holding tanks with millions of gallons of foreign water to meet necessary nautical weight requirements. "

Back to Liszt. No words there.

Egos with a dash of The Cars

2009-04-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

Folks, I think I have the answer.

And it's not because I am OCD.

I am yet again in the library (the computer lab part), and am currently subjected to listening to cartoon segments (the main character sounds like a drowning dolphin) and once each segment is over, its one song of Cher, and then back to the cartoon. All without headphones.

Here's the deal. I don't think it's really because I don't like noise. I think it's because people are so blatantly selfish--the library is packed, and people are studying for finals.

We have totally created a "me" generation. And I am not going to lie, I'm in the boat more than I would like to admit.

Oh, now we are changing it up with the Cars, I love this song (shout out to Carolyn)

Here's the deal, there's a difference between being confident...

And he is singing. I'm not to sure it gets better than this.

and having an ego. Confident people are humble-- they are assured. Egotistical people are selfish. In pursuit to give their kids confidence, I think parents accidentally give them egos. This ego translates into entitlements, the complete disregard for the feelings of others, and ultimately a low self-esteem. We are at risk of being a bunch of snobby young adults.

With great tastes in music-- I don't mind you coming here, and wasting all my time, time.

Things have been so good for so long

it's not the perfume that you wear, it's not the ribbons in your hair

Please don't take this as a preaching deal. You all know I have an ego-- about the Excel magic I work on a daily basis, my bathroom cleaning skills, and my out-of-this-world chicken parmigana.

So feed me

You know-- my skills. But I think a lot of people (I being one of them) need more confidence and a little less ego-- a little less shameless self-promotion.

Lovin' Janet

2009-04-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

This came out of the new DHS report:

"The DHS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific information that domestic rightwing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence, but rightwing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about several emergent issues. The economic downturn and the election of the first African American president present unique drivers for rightwing radicalization and recruitment."

Let me translate that for you: "If you ain't with us, you're against us-- and by the way, we're going to label you as terrorists."

The Obama administration has a hard time labeling terrorists as is-- you know, the freaky kind that actually want to kill us.

I especially LOVE, not kidding folks, LOVE how they have "no specific information that domestic rightwing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence..."

Let me translate that for you: "Yeah, admittedly, we just pulled this out of our a**."

Who knows why. Oh wait, I think I do. A) it's government. B) they don't like anybody telling them their ideology is wrong. No seriously, it boggles my mind how a lot of liberals (note: not all) give themselves kudos for having an open-mind-- but really their idea of "open-mind" is agreeing with you until you disagree with them. I guess, at the disjuncture, that's when they decide to label you a terrorist.

Keep it up, Janet, you're doing a great job of terrorizing the country. Good thing you're head of the DHS.

Can't Wait

2009-04-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

I can't wait until I no longer have shared walls.

Please don't ask for details.

On a Very, Very Heavy Note

2009-04-11T17:28:00.000-07:00

This topic is a little heavy for a blog, but it won’t leave my mind…

My question is simply this: what dark chapter in human history; what perverse period in the life of mankind do we need to revisit in order to convince ourselves, so thoroughly, that socialism has and never can work?

Here is socialism for you. I am sure it sounded great to Marx, and even greater to Lenin and the people that brought him to power. But lo and behold! Its fruits! How quickly great ideas and the best of intentions of mankind turn into the worst of nightmares.

This story depicts the liquidation of the kulaks, the successful Russian peasants who resisted Communism—or the redistribution of resources, if you will. The successful peasants were expected to hand over their goods to the poorer peasants (which, by the way, never really happened because of government corruption, which lead to millions dying of starvation). Because of kulaks’ resistance, almost five million people were killed by Stalin and his supporters. This story is told by Lev Kopelev, an officer in the collection forces. Collection forces ensured kulaks were a) growing all of their crops (because they could not keep their crops and gain the wealth from selling them, there was little incentive to actually grow them) and b) gave everything to the Communist party.

“…And I saw the looks of the men: frightened, pleading, hateful, dully impassive, extinguished, with despair or flaring up with half-mad, daring ferocity. ‘Take it. Take it away. Take everything away. There’s a pot of borscht on the stove. It’s plain, got no meat. But still it’s got beets, taters ‘n’ cabbage. And it’s salted! Better take it, comrade citizens! Here, hang on, I’ll take off my shoes. They’re patched up and re-patched, but maybe they’ll have some use for the proletariat, for our dear Soviet power.’”

“I firmly believed that the ends justified the means. Our great goal was the universal triumph of communism, and for the sake of that goal everything was permissible—to lie, to steal, to destroy hundreds of thousands, even millions of people, all those who were hindering our work or could hinder it, everyone who stood in the way.”

From Milovan Djilas-- The New Class: An Analysis of the Communist System

“Communist revolution, conducted in the name of doing away with classes, has resulted in the most complete authority of any single new class. Everything else is a sham and an illusion. This new class is bureaucracy…. The classes and masses do not exercise authority, but the party does so in their name…tyranny over the mind is the most complete and most brutal type of tyranny; everything begins or ends with it...”

This brings us around to this quote:

“The welfare of humanity has always been the alibi of tyrants”

Think I am going overboard? Man, I wish you could read some of the radical literature I was forced to read this semester. I wish you could have been part of the conversations. Supporters of socialism may have great intentions. Equity, no poverty, more sustainable living and a unified national body all sound great, but trying to achieve these goals through government has reaped some of the biggest horrors mankind has ever experienced. It's written all over history. And typically, socialists, or even very liberal liberals, have failed to connect these dots.

People always think it is going to be different. Our redistribution of resources will never be like their redistribution of resources. How can you guarantee that? How can you give government so much power, so much authority, and not expect tyranny? Perhaps it will not manifest itself now, but in ten, twenty years? There’s is no guarantee of benevolence—yet people keep acting like there is.

How quickly people sell their freedom to their government for temporary comfort, for stability.

"Our impatience for quick results may lead us to choose instruments which, though perhaps more efficient for achieving the particular ends, are not compatible with preservation of a free society" The Road to Serfdom.

It Has Come to My Attention

2009-04-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

1) I keep using "principal" when I should use "principle" in previous blog posts. My deepest apologies.

2) I want to alter the usage of the word "equity." Not that I am against what it stands for, but I am sick of reading/hearing it at least a dozen times (no exaggeration here, folks) a day and its mis-leading definition. And people that use it really don't know what it means. Second, the word "sustainable," which too has lost all relevant meaning as a handful of scholars, experts in the field, if you will, use the word to encompass everything that's on their personal political agenda. Perhaps to increase their own importance. If you are considered an expert on "sustainable energy" and you write books on what "sustainability" is, and it just so happens to encompass the economy of goods, family values, zoning patterns, and then the complete agenda of the federal, state, and local governments of all the world-- my, you must be an expert on everything! Same with the word equity-- after hearing it so often I am at an absolute loss what it means. So I googled it. Equity via Webster and Equity via political discussions are not the same thing. These two words have changed meaning based on the raw emotions of the elite few--without the majority of people knowing. And raw emotions change, but words have a harder time evolving. And here is the kicker, if one is asked, "do you support equity?" and you say "yes" (based on how you understand it)--well, according to political polls you just assigned yourself to a whole radical political agenda.

If ever I become dictator of the English language, I will see to those two words destruction. Watch out America, you may very well be carrying on a conversation one day and want to use an "e" word that is just on the tip of your tongue, but you just can't quite think of it.

3) I probably should make my blog private.

4) I have an addiction to Diet Coke. I have forgone sugar for the last couple of weeks-- kicked the Coke, picked up a new habit.

5) Money doesn't fix political problems, it only exacerbates them.

6) Obama tickets to graduate are going for $110 a pop on Craig's list--and I have six.

7) BUT Alex and I decided to go-- this leaves four tickets left. Who's coming with us? We want at least ONE Obama Fanatic to be part of our party-- you know, wetting your pants when he walks into the arena, screaming, crying. An ultra conservative may be necessary too. Really, whatever character you guys are willing to portray.

Oregon-- here we come!

2009-03-26T17:26:00.001-07:00

To Oregon. Salem, Oregon. In August, or as soon as I get a job (granted it's after May). So excited. Phoenix was great, it was perfect for Alex and me. I am so glad we decided to move here. but it's time to leave-- I like trees, and grass, and rain. I do like it hotter, but not 120 degrees worth of hotness.

And it's closer to family! Both parents are circa 9 hours away, which is better than 15 hours.

Obamanmana is coming

2009-03-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to walk for my graduation. You put so much hard work into this degree- the hours of staying up late, the data sets that are coated in problems because you forgot to run a two-step regression, the variables you forgot, and the ones that are coded wrong, the five 25 page papers that are due within days of each other- we've been there-- I like school, but there is no getting around it, it's a lot of hard work if you want to do well. So to celebrate it, why in the world would I go to an auditorium, wait for two hours (because you have to be early), suffer for some speaker to talk to me about achieving my hopes and dreams, and then wait in two-hour long traffic (if that, the population of ASU is 70,000)? It doesn't make sense. Perfectly irrational. I much stay in the comfort of my own home, and do things I want to do, like watch BBC videos, read, drink a coke and stare at walls-- all in the comfort of my home.

but somebody interesting is coming to graduation.

You guessed it, Obamanmana (and all of the liberal hearts skip a beat).

The man is a good speaker, and he knows how to get a crowd going. You know who didn't know how to do this so much? Bush. Bless his heart. So, it might be nice to watch someone with charisma.

So I might get tickets to graduation.

And I might go. Or I might scalp them. A nice steak dinner or Obamanmana? That's a toss.

Is it Just Me?

2009-03-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

No, I really want your honest opinion on this one. Because, I feel like I am getting OCD , and I don't want to be that way, because if I am OCD now I will be OCD when I am an old lady-- and I actually want my grandkids to enjoy visiting me.

I HATE, nay LOATHE listening to music through people's ear-phones. I am currently listening to Rihanna over and over again, from a guy that is at least 20 feet away from me. Now a new guy has come, sat right by me, and now I am listening to the joys of old Tupac tunes-- mixed with Rihanna- it's a shame Tupac is dead-- that combo would have been amazing.

To negate some of the sounds, I put on my ipod and am listening to Bach-- unfortunately, I hear my next door neighbor's abrasive beats over Italian Concerto in F. And my volume is almost all the way up. Oh, yeah, guess where I am...

the library.

Do I have the right to shoot these two men dirty glares every five minutes? Is it right for me to feel totally discouraged about my generation?

Is it just me? Or is this a normal reaction?

So Discouraged

2009-03-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

After dropping me off at school Alex was waiting at a light-rail crossing (the arms were down as the train went by) to go through the intersection. After he crossed the rails, he got pulled over. Apparently, he did not wait for the arms to be completely up and at a standstill until he went through. The arms were almost all the way up, just not standing still at the top. Anyway, that amounted to $178, which we could not get out of, and driving school. On top of that, the cop noticed that Alex was wearing his work uniform (he works at Firestone) but had a California license and California plates. So, he slapped us with a “failure to register” too. We plead not guilty to that one, and went to court.

The reason why we did not register is because a) we expect to be here less than a year and b) I am a student, and therefore I don’t have to register. Under Arizona State Law, you have to be here only seven months and employed before you are considered a resident. Alex got pulled over seven months TO THE DAY that we moved here. But, he has only been employed six of those months. The judge ruled that didn’t matter because he was “looking” for employment during the first month. That makes a total of seven months.

Further, we showed him that we applied for, and were granted, the right to vote via away ballots. We also showed him our lease, which proves we will be here less than a year. The judge was unmoved.

So, we went for option b- we don’t have to register because I am a student. We showed him that I am paying enormous amounts for out-of-state tuition, my schedule, the check for purchasing the car out of a joint savings account, and the insurance policy, with both of our names on it- showing the car is my main source of transportation (because it is my only source of transportation). Our downfall came when the judge saw the title. Only Alex’s name is on the title because Alex’s dad was the one that drew up the title. Neither of us knew that you could put two people’s name on the title. We’re just kids, still trying to figure out contracts, and insurance, and the like. Who knew? Alex tried to argue that according to Common Property law, the car is still half mine – but Common Property is a California State law, not an Arizona law.

So, the judge ruled that “technically” Alex’s is the only one that owns the car, and “technically” Alex is a resident starting with the day he got pulled over.

These technicalities add up to $609 that has to be paid in five days.

This wouldn’t make me so upset if I wasn’t present for the trail before us. A diabetic man was driving in the right lane (the road he was on was a four-lane road- two lanes going either direction), had low blood sugar, so he decided to pull a u-turn in front of the left lane (going in the same direction) so he could get to the McDonald’s to get a coke. Well, the car crashed into him sending everyone to the hospital. His excuse? He didn’t want to take his medication that day. That’s it. He just didn’t want to. He also doesn’t like packing snacks-- most diabetics that I know always pack snacks. The judge’s reaction? Thanked him for coming to court- for taking time out of his busy day. No fines or fees because he had a medical condition. “Technically,” that man is guilty of neglect. If he had an attack AFTER he took his medication- I would understand that. But not WANTING to take vital medication and then getting behind the wheel of the car? His actions could have KILLED someone – but no fines or fees for him. “Technicalities” were obviously not high on the priority list for the judge in the case before us.

I think he started hating us when Alex tried to recite Arizona state law. Don’t do such things. Just cry, say you’re sorry. Don’t recite law – judges in lower traffic courts have to feel some superiority over somebody, and they want it to be you. The guy was a jerk the entire time. He kept on telling Alex he was “doing it wrong” and “No, no! You don’t make a statement here.” All in very annoyed tones.

No such thing as justice when the state needs revenue.

We could appeal it, but that’s $150, and we would be out that money if we lost. I look at Arizona’s budget sheets all day. I know that they have no money. I know they are afraid to raise taxes. I also know that they are looking to garner more revenue through traffic fines and fees. I sit in state and city meetings. I watch law being made: see the debates, know the majority of motivations. And I wanted to tell the judge that. It’s not about justice- it’s about revenue. He may know the law, but I know how that law is made – and trust me, it’s all about the money.

There isn’t a more discouraging feeling than knowing your government is taking advantage of you and using the guise of justice to do it. I’ve never felt so powerless, so discouraged, and so disappointed, and disenchanted, with the legal system.

Assistance por favor

2009-02-23T10:27:00.001-08:00

How does one enlarge blog margins?

Classy

2009-02-21T14:42:00.001-08:00

Would you want to be friends with somebody that had this type of furniture? I would. Although, I wouldn't bring my small children, or mustard-based products with me for a visit. I would, however, bring my fake laugh, stories of yachting, my third husband, and a chunky gold necklace.

I took a quiz on my friend Anna's blog to see what my decorating style is. And the above picture was the result. I don't think I have style, but I have opinions. And apparently, I am highly in favor of the Classic style with a touch of French Eclectic (a pleasant mix of both formal and casual). The description of Classic:

"What's old is new again! The beauty of Classic style is how well it takes all of the beautiful forms, colors and textures of the past and reinvents them in a way that feels both fresh and inspired.

The style itself is a mix of European influences and French, English and Italian antiques and replicas are often used together. Furniture is well proportioned and comfortable and the rooms give off an air of sophistication and grace. Oil paintings depicting still-life or nature scenes and emphasizing symmetry of pairs helps maintain the traditional nature of the room. Windows are often covered with opulent fabric shades and/or drapery.

Traditional rooms give off an air of history that seems to say "I was here long before you, and will remain long after you've gone." And yet, even with this level of sophistication, the rooms are soft and inviting.

The second to last sentence is a slightly distressing.

Desperate to know your own decorating style?

http://www.sproost.com/

A Terrible, Sad Day

2009-02-06T11:10:00.001-08:00

My dear readers,

I come to you with the gravest of news. Please, get out your tissues, and grab your spouse or a close friend- you're going to need them.

His Highness, the Honorable Bubba Wayne has died.

I have no pictures of His Worshipfulness. He didn't like to be photographed. For those of you not privileged enough to know him- he was a huge cat, around 20 lbs., with thick black fur that got EVERYWHERE. He pooped in your bathtub when he was mad at you, and on your pillow when you took away his Fancy Feast. He was 11 years of age and full of quirks: he ate his cat food from the side of his mouth so he could eat laying down, and meowed all night long when the vet put him on special diet food, and gave the cutest little irritated meow when you moved him off your bed. The Bubba will be missed. He is buried in an unmarked grave and even without a coffin as my parents could not find a box big enough to fit him.

I apologize for all the heartbreak I caused you with this, sad, terrible, even disastrous news. If you feel the need, please leave your respects in the comment section.

25 things

2009-01-31T08:43:00.000-08:00

Moving away from politics- two of my friends tagged me on Facebook to do this list. You're supposed to name 25 things, habits, goals, etc. about you. I am a little inept at Facebook, so I decided to bring the tag to the blogger world.

1) I like light to be evenly dispersed around a room
2) I like dramatized infomercials
3) I am far too blunt- it's a flaw, but not necessarily a flaw I want to correct
4) I LOVE white grape juice
5) I didn't like Alex when I first met him because I thought he breathed too heavy.
6) I enjoy talking to strangers
7) I judge people that wear sunglasses unnecessarily
8) I rub my face constantly- it's a habit from childhood
9) I smile when I am uncomfortable, and laugh when I'm really uncomfortable.
10) I am really not in tune with my emotions. When people ask how I feel and I want to give an honest response- I have to take a few minutes to really think about it- and even then I don't get the answer.
11) I am an English history buff- From memory I can name every monarch from 1066 to present and anything of importance that happened during their reign.
12) I can't stand it when people talk too slow or do not give me direct answers to my direct questions.
13) I want to learn more about herbology and gardening.
14) I want to fix the education system and eventually run for office in education administration
15) I love the sound of birds in the morning
16) My parents are honestly the best people I know
17) I don't like apples, pears, or cucumbers because of their texture
18) Even though I only lived in Texas for 6 years (my first six years) I still feel like I am home whenever I am there.
19) My favorite smell is wet cement
20) I love holding babies after they just woke up.
21) I have insanely vivid nightmares
22) One of my most favorite parts of the day is waking up and seeing Alex- cheesy but true
23) I LOVE shopping for office supplies, kitchen utensils, and books- I LOATHE shopping for anything else.
24) I like having a fan on when I sleep
25) I frequently daydream about saving Africa from warlords.

I tag Crystal, Carolyn, Jenni Lopez, Amanda Berns, Sherry and Nicole Empy. If you guys don't want to do this, that's absolutely fine

From the Underground

2009-01-23T16:52:00.000-08:00

My dear friends,

I have to go underground. Being conservative isn't cool anymore. Just ask the majority of those clowns labeled "Republicans" up on capitol hill...

Of deep concern to the conservative underground: this insane, fanatic devotion to President Obama. It's annoying and scary. You can like him, heck, you can even love him, but please, stop the insane devotion. It's not healthy. Get a grip. I feel like the man could crap and people would feel privileged if he asked them to eat it. Graphic, but a true definition of what I see going on nonetheless.

Follow truth, not people. It often happens that leaders coincide with truth, but be careful, nobody is ever the embodiment of truth. No matter how benevolent and correct leaders may be, they're not perfect. And thus, if they go off the deep-end, guess what? you're going with them. Following people and not principals- that's how evil regimes start.

In the opinion segment of today's broadcast: Somebody asked me if I want President Obama to succeed. That's a loaded question. First, let me differentiate between Obama and America. The two aren't the same thing. Let me further differentiate between Obama's means and ends. I agree with his ends: a healthier economy, better foreign affairs, better schools, etc. I am, however, in ABSOLUTE HORROR over his means: BIG, HUGE, BORDERLINE SOCIALIST (I don't care what you say, liberal friends, if not socialism, it's pretty dang close) GOVERNMENT. So, do I want Obama's ends to succeed, in short, do I want America to succeed? Of course. Do I want Obama means to succeed? Heck the freak no. The very idea makes me want to puke.

In other conservative underground news: the weather has been remarkably pleasant in Phoenix.

To close: Question, my dear friends, question. It's ok to support Obama, wear his T-shirts, and have parties in his honor, it's NOT ok to fail to question him. Be skeptical. Challenge your opinions, evaluate your thoughts, and always have the fortitude and courage to engage yourself in what you believe to be right and just. Not saying all Obama supporters are like this, but I am saying far too many are.

Signing off from the Conservative Underground.

Clarification- Capitalism V. Welfare State

2009-01-21T09:50:00.001-08:00

(I was going to leave this in the comment section of my last blog, but it was too long)

Very true. The comment was hypocritical and I apologize. I was solely thinking of the people who made the comments while writing the post- a venting session, if you will. I mentally left out you, and my many other friends who are liberal (shout out to my high school BFFs) who have, and continue to show me the true meaning of open-mindness.

Now, I realize the following statements are not going to change your mind. No doubt you have encountered them before and weighed them in your mind. I am not looking for you to agree with me, just understand. You probably already do...but for those of you who don't...

The market does encourage self-interest and personal achievement. The government encourages (in my never to be humble opinion) corruption and special interests interest. Bottom line: capitalism has flaws, government has flaws, in the end, the are both deeply flawed systems. I believe both are needed, overall capitalism is better than government. Why?

1) Capitalism provides people with the incentive to succeed- Frederick Taylor was on to something when he stated money motivates people. You can stamp your feet and shout, "Katie, you're evil." Do it all you want. It's true. Money motivates. You may think it is a corrupt principal, but a true principal nonetheless.

2) The government- because of its structure- is insanely inefficient. Businesses, because they have to remain competitive, are much more efficient. Stop begging, stop begging, I'll give you an example:

I have to get an affidavit signed by my internship (a government internship) so that I can get academic credit from ASU. I got the affidavit from ASU, turned it into my internship supervisor, who turned it into her supervisor, who turned it into the department personnel supervisor, who turned it over to the personnel office, who turned it over to the government lawyers. The lawyers have a problem with two words. So, the affidavit when back over to ASU to my program coordinator, who turned it over to his supervisor, who turned it over the department, who turned it over to the ASU legal team. This has taken three weeks- still not near being done. It basically says I'll show up to work on time, do my job, and not wear jeans.

3)The Welfare State robs people of something valuable-- self-esteem. The government teaches others to be reliant on the system- a) people want to hear their problems will be solved, and so they exchange their vote for more welfare options. b) constantly having their hand out (some people need it- not blaming, just stating) wears on people and ultimately leads to a decrease in self-worth (not saying it should, I am just saying it does). Welfare should be a type of system that helps people on its feet, not to provide them with a permanent lifestyle.

People really need welfare. I'm not denying that. And I am happy to give it to them. Many people are stuck in poverty cycles. They need help. I'll address them later. First, Unfortunately, there are others, far too many, who abuse the system. We have a serious problem of entitlement in our generation, and the government, instead of hindering this deadly ideology, encourages it either because 1) it gives them more power and/or 2) they don't know/can't fix the system.

Who are the losers in the Welfare State? Lower middle class who do not receive welfare benefits. They just pay for them via taxes. So, the are paying for their peers to live a better lifestyle than they are. That's the truth. The system is flawed because government is inherently flawed. Thus one can argue until their blue in the face that capitalism does not support equality, well...

4) I've got news for you- you cannot create a society without economic losers- capitalism or welfare state. I'm not saying this to be pessimistic. It's just an economic fact. Sorry, the world is imperfect. People are corrupt. That's what we have to deal with. Even my incredibly liberal professor confessed this last night, you cannot have inclusive economic growth (the economic raising of all people) with economic prosperity (the increase in GDP). It's impossible- over the long-run, maybe something can be done. But because many politicians have incredibly short time horizons (their term in office until re-election) they don't want to do anything that might make them unpopular, even though it may be better in the long run.

So what should we do? Allow me to depict my dream world.

Get government out of business (yes, there will still be economic recessions, we can't avoid that)and let government take care of public goods and punish market failures (ie imperfect information, monopolies, etc.). Privatize education, with government regulation (for at least a couple of years).

What about the poor? People helplessly caught in poverty, abuse, and so forth?

Admittedly, the government will have to still give out some form of welfare. Although it should be INCREDIBLY more picky who it gives it to- officers should come in the home, check out finances, and so forth. For what the government does but lacks, may I add a third system, if I am allowed to call it a system? Philanthropy.(cue violins) I truly believe that people are good. That they care about others. And charity defies the rules of capitalism and government. There is a huge amount of good in this world, and I think people would be more able to express it if a) they were given a chance and b) they had more disposable income because the government's role has decreased and hence so have taxes (insert moan from my econ professor here). Non-profits can organize and so can private businesses to ensure people get what they need. People are able to feel the goodness of directly helping people- without the middleman government. With government, you don't see where your money goes, all you know is that you have to pay your taxes or you're put in jail. That's hardly fulfilling.

Also, I believe people will find better ways of getting themselves out of poverty if they weren't reliant on a faulty system.

Yes, I believe people are that good, capitalism is incredibly efficient in certain realms, and government is a good, very hands-off regulator. I encourage you to disagree with me and welcome your comments. They make me think. you never learn anything from talking to people you agree with.

Aside: I also believe that conservatives and liberals are both good people- smart, great people are on both sides. We just have different avenues on realizing the same dreams. In short, by no means I am suggesting I have the monopoly on insight in wisdom with the above post.

Let Me Get One Thing Straight About Conservatism

2009-01-20T10:02:00.001-08:00

I'm tired of everybody viewing me as a heartless (insert your choice of evil name here) whenever I tell them I am conservative.

Conservatism does NOT believe the needy shouldn't be helped, roads shouldn't be constructed, education shouldn't be a priority, and so forth. These things need help. Desperately. We all realize that.

So why the difference between conservatives and liberals? Conservatives don't think the government should be the one to administer such programs. That's the difference. We all agree these programs need reconstruction, it's just the mode, the means, if you will, in which the advancement is to take place.

My dear friends, HAVE YOU SEEN THE HORROR THAT IS GOVERNMENT? That's why I am a conservative. Not because I don't believe in helping others, but because the government scares me- much like Alex singing Michael Bolton at the top of his lungs early in the morning.

My goodness, I wouldn't trust government to take care of a dog I liked, much, much, much less my fellow human beings and my money. Note: I don't think government should be abolished. Far from. It will always be needed to administer in areas where private industries fail- the main difference between conservatives and liberals is that conservatives happen to view that sector as much bigger than liberals. I trust people more than I do government. People does NOT EQUAL government. Government is more like a machine, a dangerous, mindless machine that people try to control, but despite best efforts engaged, they are not quite able to tame it. The more I learn about government, the more I am disenchanted, nay, horrified by it.

I respect liberals, and their opinions, I just don't see myself joining the ranks anytime soon-- let's just be honest with ourselves--ever. But, to all my dear liberal friends, please note the distinction, and please stop passing over conservatives with a wave of the hand and the passive, and completely misinformed statement of "oh, they just don't care."

Being Politically Correct = Not Being Correct

2009-01-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Alright folks. I have heard this term so often, in my classes, in the news, in casual conversation, that I can no longer keep silent about it. It bugs me. This is a perfect example of how being politically correct ultimately ends up not being correct at all. Indeed, it results in little more than misleading and inefficient communication. Rarely, if at all, should you use geographical location to explain a race.

The term African-American in reference to black people. Stop using it. It's ridiculous. And it bugs.

Why? In order for the term to be correct, it makes three HUGE assumptions

1) That all black people are from Africa
2) That all Africans are black
3) That all black people in the world have two nationalities- African and American

Let me counter each in turn with real life examples.

1) I have met black people whose ancestors for several generations hail from Brazil, Columbia, Venezuela, Haiti, Middle East, India, the Caribbean, and Indonesia. These countries/regions are NOT in Africa. Google them. For centuries, their families have not been in Africa, maybe never originated in Africa. Who knows? So please, Africa was so four centuries ago for many of them if at all, so why are we still using it as a reference to describe them? For example, my ancestors settled New Orleans, so instead of calling me "white," you call me "French-American." Even though I consider myself fully American, and ancestry-wise, there is a lot more in me than French (thank goodness), and the early 17th century was so LONG ago. Do you see the inefficiency?

2) Not everybody in Africa is black. For example, there are some great people in my parents' ward who are from South Africa. They were born there, and then got their citizenship here. That makes them African-American. The kicker is that they are white.

3) Somebody in my class described the President of Zimbabwe, Mugabe, as being an African-American. African, yes. American, much to our delight, not so much.

Do you see the problem with the term? Now, some cases where it does work: Obama- he hails from Kenya and is an American and is black- that works. But for the majority of people you encounter, you simply do not know.

Still want to use geographical location to describe race? The only one I can think of is Pangaea. Refer to everyone as a Pangaeaite (pangaean?) and you should get it right, 100% of the time.

Everybody, Come See How Good My Genes Look

2009-01-09T16:58:00.000-08:00

After Christmas I went to the lap of luxary, the pinnacle of human civilization, the height of culture...Jerome, ID. I see everyone's eyes fill with envy. But don't worry, folks. We can schedule you in for a visit: an experience my parents frequently entitle "Slumming it with the Kings." Alex had to work everyday for seventeen days EXCEPT Christmas. So we spent Christmas alone in AZ- which was actually kind of nice- and then I flew out to ID on the 27th and stayed until New Years Eve. Harley, Wendy, Mom, Dad, Jimmy, Grandma, Granddad, and these two little buggers were there...

These are my nephews. No, seriously, look how good my genes are. On the left you have Dalen, my sister Janna's kid, and on the right you have baby Anderson, Wendy and Harley's kid.

Cute Moments:

1) We are trying to get Dalen out of the habit of throwing HUGE fits. So, we wag our finger at him and say "no fits, Dalen, no fits." Whenever Anderson started to cry, Dalen would go up to him, wag his finger and say "no fits, An'erson, no fits." Anderson rarely cries, but he does blow a lot of raspberries when eating his baby food. So, by the end of the trip, Wendy taught Dalen to say "no ra'berry An'erson, no ra'berry" while wagging his finger in front of Anderson's face.

2) Anderson blowing raspberries while eating his baby food.

3) Dalen saying "sure!" everytime you asked him to do something.

4) Anderson constantly hunting down Skeeter, the dog, or Bubba Wayne, the cat.

"Katie," you question, "because Alex's and your genes are so good, do you want to do humanity a service and reproduce?" The answer is: not yet. We still have a couple of years before that happens...we think. But, we are really looking forward to it. Hopefully our kids will be as cute as these two: although we could do without the fits, and yes, as cute as they are, we could also do without the raspberries which entail air-bourne baby saliva and fresh garden veggie baby food.

A Rant

2008-12-19T09:43:00.001-08:00

That's it, folks. I've had it. I swear to you, I've had it. I'm this close to poking my eyes out. Yes, really, to show my disdain for what is happening, I am that desperate to make a statement.

Liberal or conservative, politically active or living in a hole in the ground, you all should be very, nay horrifically, concerned with what is going on. Government has over-stepped its jurisdiction-- big time. And that's scary. Bush has circumvented democracy-- the very will of the American people-- to bail out the auto industry. Bush (and his apparent sidekick Obama) has directly placed the government in the middle of capitalism- well, what used to be called capitalism.

So, we are placing on the alter our way of life, capitalism, to save 40,000 jobs (an incredibly biased number given to congress by the auto industry. It includes people they don't even directly employ, such as suppliers- who, I might add, are on the payroll of other non-failing companies). That's the price of your and your children's long-lasting economic freedom, my dear readers. Temporary discomfort. Lovely. To a donkey, I am sure this all makes perfect sense. He doesn't care if he is fenced in, as long as he has some hay. To people further up the evolutionary chain, however, the very nature of this "bailout" screams insanity.

What's next? Where's the line? Has it even been placed? I can guarantee you, Congress has placed no line. No boundaries. GM is going and people are sadly losing their jobs. But what about the thousands upon thousands of people who have and will lose their jobs? Are they less important than the auto workers? Apparently. So to be fair, government starts saving other businesses from certain economic destruction. They have to, you understand, it's only fair.

If you think the bailout is going to stop with the auto industry and the banks, you're out of your mind. You altruistically understand, of course, that more and more of your paycheck will be taxed in order to finance crappy CEOs and deficient business models.

Another item of concern: businesses are more likely to engage in risky behavior. Make risky investments. Why not? If the investments fail the over-reaching government, with taxpayers money in hand, will bail them out.

So, that's who we are going to trust. Congress. The same Congress who forgot to place someone in charge of dishing out the $700 billion bailout it already promised. Yes, it's true, a HUGE bureaucratic failure. The same Congress who did not even specify how banks were to use taxpayer "bailout" money. So, instead of giving out loans, which was the intention of the bailout, the banks paid off their executives. Failures of this nature will continue to happen. It's government. Has it ever been efficient? Last time I read about the founding fathers (today) Congress was built not to be efficient. So why do we keep handing it power? Power it shouldn't have?

Isn't that how all dictatorships/the-hell-we-know-as-communism started? An emergency. An economic emergency. People panicking in the middle of an economic emergency. Foolishly giving government all sorts of power to get them out of it, and quickly. And in the very process sacrificing something more than a healthy economy-- freedom. Government promises to return power as soon as the emergency is over. So what is the most concerning part about all of this?

We believe them.

Let's not sacrifice temporary economic discomfort in favor of permanent radical changes. We have more sense than that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To the CEO's of the auto-industry

My deepest apologies, gentlemen, that you are apparently devoid of business sense. That you failed to create a fruitful and stable business model. That the majority of vehicles you produce have consistently been placed on the "worst cars to buy" list. That you lacked the necessary political talent to rein in your far too powerful unions.

For all of this, I deeply and sincerely apologize.

But you must understand at least this much-- it's business. You failed to survive because you failed to adequately produce. You failed to read your market. You failed to innovate. And thus the market has failed to support you. That's business. And hopefully, if I have my way, that will always be business. Because that is capitalism. And capitalism is what made this great country great.

I am very sorry for the loss of jobs for your workers. But it wasn't the American people who failed your workers, so I fail to see why it is the responsibility of the American government, and hence the people, to financially save your companies.

It was you, and the leaders of your unions, who failed your workers because of your lack of talent and foresight.

So, please, take whatever integrity and honor you have left and close your doors. Stop asking the government for MY money-- because they are crazy enough to give it to you.

Funny

2008-12-13T15:59:00.001-08:00

I found this on Emily and Blake's blog and could NOT stop laughing. Even if you are not into BYU football (as I am not) this is still so very, very funny.

I am a loser and have no idea how to upload the video to my blog. Anybody, please tell me? So, here is the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6CROOR2QN8

If this doesn't work, go to you tube and type in "Hitler reacts to BYU's loss." Priceless.

Fashionista

2008-12-04T12:19:00.000-08:00

I am no fashion expert. But that does not mean I am void of taste. You want to know what I have on? Jeans, brown dangling earrings, a white T-shirt, and a pair of gray Vans (courtesy of Jimmy). Do I look presentable? Sure. I want a fashion that attests what I am: a grad student, forced to stay on campus all day in order to write a 20 page paper that has a shocking lack of transition sentences and way too many in-text citations. Does my style reflect that? Oh, I think it does. The messy bun is a nice little touch. Too cool for school--that's what it says.

I view fashion like I view jazz music, I can appreciate it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. In the end, however, I think I am a pretty good judge on what looks good and what doesn't. The cutest fashions I have seen anywhere in the world were in China (not even in London compares). Chinese girls may only have 2 to 3 outfits (no, really, they do), but man, they know what to wear and how to wear them. I'm not joking. I was going to take pictures for further proof, but decided that would be a little too weird-- would you want a blond American chasing you around your home country taking pictures of you? No? Me either. So, this is something that has puzzled me for a while-- I am confronted with it every time I step foot on campus: if the Chinese know how to dress, and Chinese-Americans know how to dress, then why are Chinese people who are temporarily in America (either as tourists or students) completely void of a sense of fashion? I don't get it. Please note that Chinese males are not included in this study. They seem to not be fashionably-affected by their move to America.

I'm sorry, but you can't tell me that a pair of moccasin boots (WITH the fringe), with gray, pin-stripe tights, a really short pair of beige shorts, a Banana Republic fluffy purple blouse, a dark brown vest, a cream-colored Gap scarf, topped with a Daisy Duck bright-pink baseball cap looks good. I'm not going to buy it. This is my hypothesis: Chinese females, upon hearing they are about to study in the States, obtain fashion magazines. In these fashion magazines, they quickly, and astutely learn, that contemporary fashion is a little crazy. So crazy that basically ANY outfit could be pulled off if worn with the right attitude. They assume all Americans dress this way. So, they abandon good, common fashion sense in favor of, what they assume to be, fitting in. They come to the States and realize that not a lot of people dress like French models, but, in an effort to be more fashion-forward for their peers, they altruistically continue to dress like they were in a competition to find the craziest outfit possible with $5 within 15 minutes at DI. That's what I assume.

I love them. I really do. But I just don't get them. I was going to try to adopt Chinese fashion when I got back to the States-- so I have no idea why people would drop those cute, and just adorable fashions for absolute contemporary chaos.

Maybe they are just more fashion-forward than I am. That's entirely possible. I am just SO slow-moving when it comes to adopting new things.

Aside: I love APA style. The way you can do headings- it makes you feel like you can do a pseudo outline in a legit paper- I love outlines, almost as much as jellied cranberry sauce, but not quite.

On Third Thought

2008-11-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

I love Star Wars. Judge me.

On Second Thought

2008-11-08T22:06:00.001-08:00

Isn't it my right to vote against gay marriage simply just because I disagree with it? Gandhi once said, "those who want to take religion out of politics do not know what religion is." That's true. Religion is completely part of me, and I am part of politics. You can't take religion out of me and you can't take me out of politics. I vote my thoughts and feelings. So does everyone else. Just because my thoughts and feelings are religious, does that make them less correct? Less worthy of a vote? Of course not. I vote to make the government better: to condemn propositions that I view to be unworthy, and praise those that I believe to be just. Is that biased? You bet. But that's all voting is- a bias. People call on their value systems, in one form or another, to make decisions. Why can't I call on mine? It's my right to be biased in a voting booth. Quite frankly, I don't know how you would be able to make a mark on that paper unless you were biased.

And everybody keeps saying that logical analysis will get us to the objective truth. Just a thought I have had in grad school, who's to say the truth is objective? It may very well be rooted in subjectivity.

How does this extend to public servants-- that's a big question I am going to have to ponder.

Thanks, Anna, for your article. Want to read a good article, albeit long? Go to the "comments" section of my last post.

The Dreaded Political Topic

2008-11-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

This is going to come back to bite me. I feel it in my bones. Why I am doing it? Oh, my dear readers, I am ruled by logic less frequently than I would like to admit. The below is my stance on gay marriage. Note this is a current opinion, resulting from months of pondering. It is liable to change.

As it stands, I believe religion is too far into government. Who am I to say that because you are gay you shouldn't be given rights. That's imposing my morals on others. HOWEVER (here is the kicker) I am against gay marriage in its current format. Why? Government would then get too far into religion.

Essentially, it's my right to believe homosexuality is immoral, but it's not my right to impose that belief on others. It's others' rights to believe homosexuality is moral, but it's not their right to impose that on me. How would they do so? By filing discrimination lawsuits against preachers, churches, photographers (I guess they're under attack), that will not accept homosexuality because it is against their principals (NOTE: homosexual and homosexuality are two different concepts- one a person, the other a principal. You can accept homosexuals without accepting homosexuality). One side is shouting, "What you are doing is immoral according to my religion and I cannot let you do it." The other side (if gay marriage was allowed), " I don't care what you think the Bible says, what you think God says, or how you want to practice your religion. You have to let us get married. If not, we'll sue you." Civil Rights and religious freedoms are directly at odds. Fascinating issue. I can't think of another one like it.

How, oh how, do we come to an agreement? The only way I can think of is through a compromise. The dreaded word. If a gay couple wants to get married by a willing church. Have fun. It's not my right to stop you. But don't come banging at my church door saying you want us to give you the same privileges: for it's also my right to practice my religion as I see fit.

There is much more to this issue, but that is what I have concluded so far.

I will either get a lot of nasty commentary on this, pleasant commentary, or no commentary at all. Please remember, we can have different opinions and get along. Just throwing my under-developed ideas out there.

Adventures with Flaming Liberals

2008-11-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

So a lot of things have happened in the world of Kathryn M. King Jones Esquire since A MONTH AGO. I am the worst blogger in the world. No, I am worse off as a journal-writer. I should quit both businesses altogether.

The title of this captivating blog is "adventures with flaming liberals."

I like flaming liberals. I really do. They constantly shock me with ideas that, well, to my poor little conservative head seem to come out of nowhere. That is to say, flaming liberals add excitement to my life where there would be none. Without flaming liberals this is how my life would go..."cut chicken in half, place stick of butter between each..crap, stick of butter will NOT fit, maybe if I pound the chicken with a bigger meat mallet, I don't have a bigger meat mallet. A can of peaches? maybe that would work." Now, this is my life WITHOUT flaming liberals. Please note the news is on in the background when I cook. Insert flaming liberals and this is what you get: "cut chicken in half, place stick....what did Reid just say? What a crazy! He's a loon. Poor man. Poor? No, no. Evil man. Yes, pure unadulterated godless marauding evilness. What does he want to do? Seriously? You loon. Ohhh, now I think I hate you." You see? If I didn't have them the most exciting part of my week would be beating people of the Jimmy Dean specials at Wal-Mart.

Now, I have recently come across a flaming liberal. He happens to be one of the foremost professors in our department because he publishes so much. What's that? You want me to give you proof he is a flaming liberal? Listen in on this:

Scene: Downtown Phoenix classroom, late September session, 6:45 at night.

Student 1: Yes, can you please explain how the public administration field will change if either McCain or Obama take the White House.

Professor: Certainly. If Obama takes the White House the public administration field will expand, and people would feel more privileged to work for this nation. If McCain took the White House, the field would be covered in secrecy, deception, lies, and so forth. The public administration sector would shrink, it would be very hard for you to get jobs, and even then, people will hate the government.

I didn't say anything, surprising my fellow classmates, and myself. If I remember correctly, I was thinking about the kidney market (yes, exactly as it sounds, long story). Anyway, this whole speech caught me a little off-guard. I was stunned. No, not the fact that he was a flaming liberal, but his apparent lack of taste. I am all about people having their opinions, but don't stand up there, as a figure of authority, and label it as secular objectivity. Por fa-freakin'-vor. If that wasn't enough to get my goat (I don't have a goat, but I want one. I would name it Lord Wellington. Another animal goal: domesticated pygmy elephants.) I also read a chapter of his book that night, naming conservatives as illogical because with one hand they support free markets, and with the other they grasp for government subsidies, taxation on imports, and so forth.

Well, I wrote the man a letter. A nice letter, full of specified reasons why he was wrong about his view of conservatism. Very wrong. So enchanting was this letter, that he emailed me a two page letter back, countering my arguments, apologizing for the miscommunication, and attached was a revised edition of his book, WITHOUT (here's the kicker, get ready for it) the section on conservatism altogether. How great is that?

The lesson is to always write letters. You never know what will happen. I love writing letters. I just wish I felt the same about blogs.

Tagged with a Twist

2008-10-10T11:58:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by my sister-in-law Wendeline. Here are the rules to the tag:

Tell 6 nice things about the person who tagged you.
Mention rules on your blog.
Tell about 6 quirks of yours.
Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same. Leave a comment on their blog to let them know.

6 Nice things about the person who tagged me, Wendy (for those of you who don't know, she is the wife of my oldest brother, Harley). Do you know Wendy? Shoot her an email, take her out to lunch. She'll love it.

1) She is one of the most thoughtful people I know. She always makes you feel special. Please note that all Wendy birthday/engagement/marital/going to London/coming back from London/Capstone-course taking/graduation/moving away/internship/just-want-to-make-you-feel-special acts come with a complementary burned CD.

2) She is organized. And she gets things done. And well too. That's a rare trait.

3) She changed my brother for the better. The much better.

4) She is a wonderful mom. When she came to Utah, my whole family commented on what a good mom she is. Sidenote, she produced a beautiful baby. Harley made me promise that I would honestly tell him if his kid was ugly. I definitely don't have to. I love little Anderson.

5) She always looks so put-together. When I go shopping now I always think, "Would Wendy wear this?" and if she would, I buy it. I honestly do.

6) She always makes my family feel included and very loved. Wendy is a planner and my father doesn't know what he is going to do until five minutes after he does it. Thus, setting plans is really, really difficult. but she doesn't get discouraged. We ADORE being with her, Harley, and baby Anderson. Harley honestly couldn't have chosen a better wife.

6 quirks about me

1) I love office supply stores. You walk in and you just feel like being productive.

2) I love to organize. Everything in my house is organized in the most efficient manner possible, not for aesthetic purposes. For instance, my baking shelf is arranged with everything that I use more frequently in the front, followed by those of secondary uses and so forth. If I organized for aesthetics, all of my short items would be in front, but that's not the case. I LOVE to categorize and group things based on function. Also, in all of the jobs I have ever had I always rearrange the storage closet the first week. I just can't handle disorganization.

3) My house HAS to be clean before I can do anything leisurely. I can't sit down and read a book when the kitchen floor needs to be swept. This dates back to my childhood. I called my friends and told them to pick up their rooms because I was coming over to play. If their rooms weren't clean, I would help them pick it up before we did anything. I also can't study unless the house is clean.

4) At the age of 25 (well, almost) I am still scared of the dark. I cannot sleep in a pitch-dark room. Another childish habit, or should I say infant? Everything goes to my mouth. I catch myself sucking, or even chewing, on the weirdest things like cords, pens, calculators, bookmarks, lip-gloss tubes, you name it. It's amazing I am not the proud owner of a million diseases. It's gross, I know, I shouldn't even admit it.

5) I can't handle conversations that are slow. I have a nasty, absolutely vile, habit of finishing people's sentences.

6) My hands have to be busy while I am talking to someone. I have to play with something. This is a horrible habit because I often carry that thing around and set it down someplace else, the whole time never knowing it was in my possession. Thus, I mis-place a lot of articles (or when I was a roommate, I mis-placed a lot of their articles).

Now for the tagging

I tag Carolyn, Tess, Sherry, Anna, Megan Ruth, and Crystal. Do you guys get into tags? You should. This was my first time and I feel rather popular. Don't worry, my dear subscribers, who were not tagged this round. I will get you next.

Old Age Sets In

2008-10-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

Alright, after a long absence I am back. Yes, thank you, thank you. We're all excited. OK, you can stop clapping now. No really, take your seats.

This post is a confession, my dear friends. I had a suspicion over the past couple of months that has grown into a full-blown bonafied fact: I am an old woman. I don't really know how it happened, I just know it for a fact. I was talking to a recent acquaintance in class and this is how the conversation went:

Acquaintance: "What do you do besides school, you know, for fun?"
Me: "Oh, you know. I like to read, go on walks, garden if I am given the chance, cross-stitch, I would love to take up sewing...."

And that's where the conversation ended: she looking confused, and me looking horrified. Not convinced, my dear audience? Please see the list of reasons below:

1) I don't like noise. No truly, I really hate it. If we are not watching TV it is turned off. I don't like really loud music, either. I just don't understand why people put up with so much assaulting their ears. I also judge people that listen to their ipods too loudly.

2) I can't understand technology. Bless me, I've tried. For instance, when I got my new phone the guy was showing me all the things I could do with it. He just didn't understand. I just want to call people with a phone, not download music or get on the internet.

3) I really do like to cross-stitch. A fact which Alex seems a little horrified about. As soon as I started cross-stitching again he let me know it wasn't "cool to hang up stuff like that. Maybe about a century ago it was cool. But certainly not today." So, I can't hang up any of my art-work, please do not be surprised if you get them as Christmas gifts.

4) I have a new passion for quilts.

5) I really do like to garden. On one of my last days at work I was outside talking to my boss. While he was speaking to me I just knelt down and started weeding the business park flower bed. After the conversation I suddenly realized that behavior was unusual. He didn't say anything about it. But still, it was weird.

Unusual behavior, definitely an old-person trait and definitely something I have become more engaged in, as exemplified by the next point.

6) I love to walk. If given the option to take a bus, or walk, I walk. I just enjoy it. The problem is that about twice a week I start walking and I forget to stop. This results in me being about half a mile from where I intended to be. My brain just gets going and I forget to keep it in check.

7) Lingo is starting to annoy me. Like people will say "your face" instead of "you." For instance, a girl today said, "Oh my gosh, I miss your face. I miss your face because I love your face. When do I get to see your face next?" No, seriously. Moving on, my biggest lingo pet-peeve is "sick." I broke Alex of this one. When someone says sick, the mental image of regurgitated Cafe Rio comes to my head, not something awesome, or praiseworthy. So, when someone says, "AH SICK!" I think, "that poor, poor person just stumbled across a pile of puke or stepped in animal feces." When really, that person received a good grade on a test. Using "sick" instead of "awesome, neat, or cool," makes little to no sense and it results in ineffective communication. So, for the good of the English language, please stop.

8) I don't like rap anymore. Never, my dear readers, NEVER, did I think that the raps and rhymes of Diddy (not P. Diddy anymore: he thinks the "P" separates him and his fans. We are still waiting on a logical explanation of that one) Twista, and so forth would not be blaring from the speakers of my 1996 Toyota Corolla. But alas! The day has come! Besides, what is with hip-hop being taken over by synthesized pre-pubescent vocals?

9) I like to read. This fact does not make me old, it is what I read. I have gotten into long, very tedious, boring novels. Before, when I was young and beautiful, I didn't have the attention span or time for them.

There you have it. I thought I would have more warning, like a broken hip, a preference for floral moo-moo's, or the passage of 50 years. Old age hit me rather fast.

The Tour

2008-09-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

Alright, will everyone please stop begging. I'll give you a tour, I'll give you a tour. I know you are all curious about my luxurious pad in Phoenix...Tempe. Whatever. So, here we go.

I'll start with outside my apartment. I love it. A pool, a few palm trees, a big pine tree and you get our view. It's starting to feel like fall. Meaning that it doesn't get above 103 degrees anymore, so it is starting to get a little cool. Ok, let's go inside. No, no, you don't have to take off your shoes. I'm not like that. What? You got dog poop on them? Yes, Alex and I make it a daily goal NOT to get dog poop on our shoes. For some odd, odd reason, the people in our complex feel the need to incarcerate two full grown pit-bulls in a one bedroom apartment. We don't understand this need. EVERYBODY has a dog. Everybody. Hardly anyone picks up poop, so there you go. Watch out for the poop. It can be an interesting and exciting game at night.

This is our couch, which we love. In front you will see a chest, which serves as a coffee table AND a storage unit for linens. This is why they call me smart. If you look closely, on the couch you will see my backpack...ever present. It constantly taunts me with a bunch of work I don't want to do. I swear, I wake up and it has moved from the couch to the side of my bed, glaring at me. Well, that's enough of the creepiness of the backpack. Above the couch is the 6 B's. Alex would love to see that plaque burn. I told him if it burned, he would burn. You just don't burn something the prophet said. Out of this picture, to the left, is the coat rack Wendy and Harley got me for my 20th birthday (honestly, one of the best gifts I have ever received) and right next to it is the TV. What? You want a closer view of the desk? It's not that exciting, but here you go.

This is the desk. Please do the hostess a favor and NOT look at the numerous wires hanging down. I simply don't know what to do with them. To the right you will see the computer I never use anymore. I feel sorry for it. To the left you will see one of my favorite items on this earth, my water bottle. It goes around with me everywhere, gives me water when I need it, and I think the blue color is soothing. Further to the left you will see my foremost favorite item in the world, my filing cabinet. I love to file. Last year Alex asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told him I wanted a filing cabinet. Instead I got an ipod. I was a little disappointed so I bought it as a birthday present to myself. I actually wish the window was open because it really is a gorgeous view. There is a huge pine tree outside. I usually don't like pine tress, but I like this one. It makes me feel like I am camping, and looking out of my tent window. Now lets take a 180 turn:

This is the dining room. The table came came courtesy of DI for $15 and the chairs are IKEA. The lovely fall runner you see was made by Tess. I love it. The fruit bowl is currently empty because Alex loves fruit. Everybody thinks we are obsessed with China because of the wall-hangings. Actually, I really don't get into Asian culture, but I got the stuff for free, and wall-hangings are so expensive, so there you go. My boss' dad was a master calligrapher so he made these for our wedding, when I was in China. It says something to the effect, "Jade is the most precious stone, and gold the most precious metal, and when fused together they make the most precious gift." Or something like that. Both murals say the same thing, but are written in different styles. Our names are on the side. Now turn to your right for our beautiful kitchen:

ooooohhh. How exciting. Yes, red. I love the color. On the far wall you will see yet another Chinese hanging. I feel a pang of guilt every time I see it. The poor peddler lady wanted $10, I gave her $4. I should have at least given her $7. I feel guilty, but not guilty enough to take it down. At the bottom you will see my third most favorite item in the house, my footstool. Yes, really, the cabinets are very tall and when you are only 5' and 3/4 of an inch and you can't reach the bowls, well my friends, you have no pride left. Next we will go to the bedroom.

For all of you who have known me pre-college, you will see very familiar things. With the exception of the bed, all of the furniture that you see, and don't see, has been in my room since I was 11. The furniture doesn't match, but hey, you take what you can get. As soon as we make it big this furniture will be out of our room and donated to our 11 year-old daughter. A nice walk-in closet is to your left, and our dresser is on the other wall.

Well, folks, that's it. I hope you have enjoyed your stay at the Sheraton Jones. Please take this complimentary mint, and remember to watch out for the poop.

Awkward

2008-09-18T14:30:00.000-07:00

I have an assignment for class. I have to interview someone in the public administration field, write a paper about it, and present my findings to the class. I thought, "I am interested in pursuing education, so I will call the Superintendent of schools in Maricopa County." Googled who it was, got the phone number, and called to set up an appointment. The conversation went like this:

Receptionist: "Hello?"

Katie: "Hello, yes, my name is Kathryn Jones. I am currently pursuing a Masters in Public Administration at ASU, and for a class project I would like to interview the superintendent."

Receptionist: "Why would you want to do that?"

Katie: (at little confused) "Well, I am interested in education policy, how she balances the need of constituents with budget constraints, her typical day, and so forth."

Receptionist: "Why are you really calling?"

Katie: "Wow, um, for all the reasons I just mentioned. I basically need it for a grade."

Receptionist: "Let me transfer you."

Assistant: "Um, yes, we can't help you."

Katie: "OK?"

Assistant: "Yeah, she is facing 25 felony charges."

Katie: "Wow, didn't see that one coming."

Assistant: "Yeah, so her typical day is a little atypical, with her being on probation, and the many lawsuits she is battling. She is never in the office."

Katie: "Ok, sorry, thanks."

How was I supposed to know? Alas, this embarrassing conversation could have been avoided had I looked further down on my google search. It looks like she really didn't do much wrong. Somebody suspected her of stealing about 2 million from the schools, but nothing has been proven. It appears that she is counter-suing for defamation, and adamantly believes the people accusing her want somebody else in her position.

Being a school superintendent never looked so unappealing. I need to interview someone else in public admin. Any suggestions?

Ode to Captain Alexander

2008-09-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

I feel like all I do is talk about politics and philosophy. So noting that our year anniversary was last month, I would like to say a couple of things about Alex. Marrying him was the best decision I ever made. Here is a list of a few reasons why I love Alex Jones:

1) When we are watching a really intense fight scene, or war scene on TV, Alex will typically stand up, and maybe even throw a few fake punches out of pure excitement. I don't think he realizes this.

2) He never judges somebody. At least not that I am aware. I can rail off a list of reasons why I find somebody annoying and he either will not comment, or try to justify their behavior.

3) If you do a favor for Alex, or are just his friend, he will never forget it. And thus you are under a lifetime subscription of Alex Jones' loyalty.

4) He loves politics. He also loves military history. The night he proposed we were engaged in a two hour long debate over who would win, 18th century England v. 18th century Japan in naval/land warfare. The debate still resurfaces from time to time and in the most random moments. It sounds something like this:

ALEX: "Hey, I tried to fix the cabinet door, but...there is just NO WAY England could penetrate Japanese defences. Not a chance. The castles in Japan were of stronger rock and mortar, not to mention the location was optimal. English forces, even if they could bring cavalry all the way over, could never break through. Even if they did, in hand-to-hand combat, a Samurai sword against even the strongest English one...no way...it turns out the screws are stripped so we are going to have to get new ones."

6) Ever since we are married he cleans the bathroom. I think I have cleaned it twice. But almost always, every week, Alex cleans the bathroom. I don't even have to ask. I just learned that he also cleans out my hair brush. Why? Because he remembered me telling him, back before we were dating, that I hate hair. So he cleans it out for me.

7) He is amazingly good-looking.

8) He put his education on hold and took a job he hates so I could get my masters.

9) He can smell Ruffles from a mile away. He once told me that he hates their smell. I didn't think he could really tell the difference. So I tried an experiment and he can totally tell the difference between Ruffles and Lays. Furthermore, he hates the cartoon baby on the commercials. It disturbs him. Now anytime we are around Ruffles, I notice that his nose goes up. I find it endearing.

10) He is constantly concerned about my well-being.

These are not all the reasons. Not even the most important. I just wrote the first ten things that came to my head. He's the best. I can't believe it has been a year.

True Scholarship

2008-08-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking. A dangerous pastime, I know (Beauty and the Beast, anyone? No? The song with Gaston? OK.). It all began one miserably hot afternoon on the bus. I waited, and waited, with my new buddies Randolf and Kat, and no bus for an hour and a half. In our mutual frustration we became quick friends. We talked about a lot of things: Social Security, Immigration, racism, alcoholism, whether or not 2-pac is really dead, the prison system, and on and on. It struck me, during those short hours, how remarkably intelligent and observant these two people were. The average person would not have called them intellectuals. Their grammar was a mess and both dropped out of high school some years ago. They were currently working as security guards at Jack in the Box (their job was to ensure no one used the restroom who was not a paying customer). Yet, despite the years of college I have attended, or the books I have read, they intellectually-stimulated me as very little else has. Their simple, yet accurate observations of life was something I had been striving toward all through college, and have largely failed to achieve. By talking to them, I believe I have discovered what true scholarship is.

Allow me to walk you through my thoughts and conclusions:

When someone tells me they are smart, I really don't get it. I admit, I am at a complete loss. Smart at what? Smart in comparison to what? If some guy came up to you full of anger and began waving a knife and you could get out of the situation, you're smart? Or you know the ins and out's of NATO? You've been published by a prestigious magazine? You're considered the resident expert on genetics? You have a PhD? You got an A+ in Econometrics? You finished college? You were stuck in the middle of the wilderness with nothing but a hatchet and knew how to survive for years? You did mankind a service by successfully destroying all reptiles? You're at the top of your law class?

I have come to the conclusion that measuring yourself thus is subjective and ultimately inaccurate.

Scholarship is not the accumulation of things you know, it is the conscious realization of the existence of things you do not know. And that is where, the simplest of human beings, has it right. Humility. I fail to understand how true scholarship can bring anything but the deepest sense of humility. When somebody has an ego, it tells me two things: a) they have a low self-esteem in other areas of their life and are desperately trying to hide it b) They have attained this ego by comparing their amount of knowledge to other people's amount of knowledge and found themselves superior in either amount or content. This line of thinking has several flaws. First, people of this nature lack true ambition. Their ambition is not to find truth, but to subscribe their self-worth to the honors and prestige bestowed on them by mankind. Second, how do you compare? You don't know exactly what goes on in somebody's head, and what they publish in articles or write on tests or even articulate may not, and indeed usually doesn't, do justice to the brilliance of their mind. Third, and I discovered this early my sophomore year in college, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know anything. It can be a disconcerting thought, or invigorating. But, if you seek truth you will find it a little bit at a time, and it is usually found embedded in simplicity and in the most unusual of places-- like a bus stop in 114 degree heat.

True intellectualism, to put it in the words Randolf is, "callin' it like it is, girl. Callin' it like it is." And isn't that what everybody tries to do? economists, political analysts, doctors, lawyers (debatable), writers, philosophers, etc. Despite profession and education, aren't we all just trying to call it like it is? You do that by observing. PhD or bum on the street, the very fact that you are human guarantees your ability to do this. To watch the world around you and to be fascinated by it. That's everyone's right. And might I dare add, PhD's or JD's are not better at this practice than your run-of-the-mill grocery store clerk. Knowledge should never be a check list: "Have adequate knowledge of geometry, check. Know the foundation of democracy, check..." By no means am I demeaning the accumulation of important knowledge, but rather the method in which we do it. We miss the point. True scholarship is to observe, to read, or think and then for your mind to expand, "There it is! What else have I been missing? What else am I blind to?"

Because I lack adequate eloquence, I stumbled across this quote by Tolstoy:

"And don't all the theories of philosophy do the same, trying by the path of thought, which is strange and not natural to man, to bring him to a knowledge of what he has known long ago, and knows so certainly that he could not live at all without it? Isn't it distinctly to be seen in the development of each philosopher's theory, that he knows what is the chief significance of life beforehand, just as positively as the peasant Fyodor, and not a bit more clearly than he, and is simply trying by a dubious intellectual path to come back to what every one knows?"

Reformation for the Sake of Reformation: Feminism

2008-08-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

Reform. Think about it. Notice how everyone clings to it? I truly think that you could take the worst idea ever, slap a "reform" label on it, and people will cling to it as monkeys cling to a tree during a storm. Reformation brought about the end of slavery, got women the vote, and made books like The Jungle a historic fictional horror story. Reformation is good and has accomplished much: however, have we taken it too far? Do we want reformation for the sake of reformation? We cry for change without really knowing what it is. Because, so dictates our modern philosophy, change MUST be better than our present position.

John Locke once stated new ideas are rejected for the mere fact that they are new. I think the opposite is true today: new ideas, unquestioned, govern behavior and old ideas are rejected because they are, well, simply old. Notice how truth fails to sway public opinion much?

An example is feminism. Modern-day feminism, I truly believe, is shattering womanhood. According to its philosophy (or at least that of which I have been exposed to) you're not a true woman if you are not slaving at an office, desperately clawing your way to the CEO position, filing at least ten sexual harassment charges within a year, and have adapted a "get out of my way, I am a woman, go ahead, make a complaint against me, I'll bring you to court, you all hate me and repress me because I am a woman" mentality. Apparently, everything around you is governed by the fact you have a uterus. In fact, many feministas hide their utter incompetence behind one word, "discrimination." It's the only thing they have to cling to. Not talent, intelligence, or raw ability. No. Discrimination has turned into a crutch, not an enabler. "You don't think I did that spreadsheet well enough? Well, it's because you are discriminating against me. What's that? You choose another for the job? A man? Sexist!" And so goes on, and on, without ceasing: the feminista rant.

I, for one, would be personally insulted if the main reason I was chosen for a job is because I produced a certain amount of estrogen, not because the committee found me qualified (the inherent racism and sexism in Affirmative Action will have to be another blog.)

Please note I am attacking modern-day feminism, not feminism as a whole. Feminism helped women get the vote and have options. I am grateful for what these women did; however, that does not justify the actions of the modern-day feministas. Feminism is like bacteria: we were so interested and excited to see it grow but it has unfortunately taken over. It keeps growing, like cancer, into something ugly and we are practically powerless to stop it: a monster that cannot be controlled by reason.

My qualms with the reform called modern-day feminism are two-fold. First, in order to call yourself a modern-day feminist, you have to engage in frequent "man abasement." You just can't feel part of a feminista group unless you talk about the incompetence of men for at least half the time. Why is this? Because of the desperate situation of the feministas they must bring something down in order to bring themselves up. Not wanting to attack their own kind they go after the only that is left, males. What a fallacy and might I add, what a stupid, ignorant position. My second qualm is that feministas frequently attack stay-at-home mothers. What they fail to realize is that the world is shaped by mothers. These mothers have more influence than the most powerful CEO, and yet they are scoffed at. They may not shape mergers or budgets, but they create, sustain, and shape life. This is something I seriously don't understand, so enlighten me. We take mothers out of the homes, put them in cubicles where they work on excel spreadsheets all day, take their kids, put them in daycare, and we have the nerve to call this process progress? I don't get it. Should women work? That's each woman's personal choice. But if they choose to stay at home, they should be free from the scoffs of the feministas.

Reformation for the sake of reformation. It's scary, but something the world is becoming more and more engaged in.

Our Buddy Dave

2008-08-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

So, I open up MSN and what do I see? In big white letters "Thanks a lot, Greenspan- why you have him to blame."

Do you know what I hate, folks? Do you know what really burns me up inside? No, not monkeys dressed as humans, although they are terrifying-- what burns me up is people who fail to take responsibility.

The corrected MSN tag should be this "Thanks a lot people who consistently fail to manage your money- why you have yourself to blame for the housing market." Did Alan Greenspan force you to sign a mortgage that was on the brink of your budget? No. Did Alan Greenspan force you to get into credit card debt to pay for that mortgage and other Chili's-chips-and-salsa-soup-salad-lunch-deal/Banana-Republic-has-a-sale necessities? No, he did not. Who signed that paperwork? Wait for it...wait for it.... that's right--YOU. So as much as you would love to pass the blame for your poor decisions off to another person, it's about time you sucked it up I-can't-say-no-to-over-consumption American. You are to blame, my friend. Thanks for participating in the America economy, sorry you lost, please exit stage right.

Do I think Greenspan and the government make poor decisions? I got a C in economics. I truly feel I can't make that assessment; however, I strongly believe that economic stimulus checks should not have been issued (by the way, do you know the government spent $41 million just to send out those letters TELLING you you would get one?) and people should not have been bailed out of the housing crisis. I guess I am a libertarian in that way. The economy will balance itself out, and the government meddling in the economy has very rarely, if ever, produced desired long-term results.

So I was watching Dateline and I see a man (profile shot), looking at his house, with that cheesy-Datelinish violin music in the background. What did I expect? Not this. First words of the narrator, "Dave's life long dream was to own a house. A dream, that will never be realized." It turns out our homeboy Dave decided to sign one of those mortgage deals, couldn't afford it, the original mortgage without the increase in interest barely fit in his income anyway, so signed up for credit cards to pay his mortgage, and is now not only upside-down on his house but has $50,000 in credit card debt. The kicker about all of this? Dateline wanted you to feel sorry for this guy. Dateline wanted you to feel that the government and the market was to blame, not Dave. What should you feel--WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT DOES THAT? The house was huge, 5 bedroom, 1 acre of land in the east. Did Dave need this house? No. Was Dave a moron for even signing in the mortgage? You bet. People should get houses. Nice yards for their kids to play in. But for heaven's sake, keep it in what you can afford.

I fully realize that people sometimes HAVE to make these decisions to keep food in their mouths, and a roof over their kids' head. But how many people in this mess fit into this category? My guess is about 10%. If that. People too often confuse needs with wants.

So, keep taking the blame, Greenspan. Bless your heart. It's just not your fault.

Do you know what I love?

2008-08-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Otter pops. And Buffalo wings. I like those too.

Why I Could Never Be a Liberal

2008-08-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

So I do nothing all day. School is out for another week and I find myself--in between reading and watching trashy day-time talk shows--pondering several things while staring at the wall. First, this mess in Georgia; second, if people are so comfortable with dressing monkeys up as humans, are they eventually going to hand them guns?; third, liberalism; fourth, analyzing this powerful streak of conservatism that I find in myself. It's growing like a bacteria, and I'm not sure that's healthy. I want to openly discuss the last two.

A lot of my really close friends are liberal. After much wall-staring, I have concluded there are three reasons why I thoroughly enjoy being with people that are my political polar opposite. To begin, you never learn anything by talking with someone you agree with. Ideas are never evaluated because thought processes are never disturbed. That's bad. Your brain, much like your spiritual or physical being, needs to constantly be challenged. Liberals do that. They annoy the crap out of you, and then they challenge you. Appreciate it. Love it. Guarantee you do the same to them. Next, I like liberals as a whole. Why? Because I know that if anything happened to me they would be the first to grab a sharpie marker and a poster board. That's sweet. Lastly, although disagree with the opposite party as you may, a lot of people in the world don't have a two-party system. They have dictators. Evil ones. Some people in the world don't have liberals. They're a precious commodity, much like food. So love your local liberals. Hug them. Show them that you care.

Now, the question that has plagued me for years: why can't I be liberal? Who is to say I'm right; they're wrong? Everyone views life through their paradigm: shaped by parental (or lack thereof) influences, religion, experiences, education, and so forth. Is my paradigm more accurate, more objective than others? My conclusion is no. No, it's not. So, why am I not liberal? I think I have found the answer: I can't abondon common sense.

I, like any liberal, would love to live in the realm of idealism: everyone has their medical needs met, everyone feels free from the terrors of guns, everyone wants to love and accept others. Where do we disagree? In one word: method. The method of reaching such idealism. You see, liberals and conservatives have the same goals, just different ways of reaching them. The method of conservatism is embedded in reality. And from my experience with liberals--bless me, I love them all--there is a serious disconnect between idealism and reality. For example, one of my friends is a liberal passionate about gun control. I am a conservative that stroked my Remmington shotgun every night before I went to bed. The issue of Virginia Tech came up. Her case? If guns were completely out-lawed, nobody would get shot. Guns would be harder to come by for bad people and hence less school killings would occur. My case? Passing laws on guns only takes guns away from the law-abiding. Somebody intent on murdering another is not exactly looking to obey the law in the first place. Think about it. A seriously disturbed individual wants to take out as many people as they can before they kill themselves. Where would they go to reach this objective: a gun-free campus or a Texan NRA meeting? Really folks. Bad people are going to get guns, out-lawed or not. Thus, bad people have guns, good people have no guns, bad people kill good people because, the unfortunate truth, only another gun can counter a gun- unless you're Jet Li. You see, we had the same objective: end gun violence, but her solution was completely void of reality. The reality? Bad people will always have guns--as pointed out before, they don't really care about laws. And there will always be people willing to sell guns if they can get cash. That's just the unhappy truth. So taking guns out of the hands of the law-abiding while praying for a more idealistic world makes, well, no sense.

Another example? Healthcare. Do I think doctor bills and insurance are ridiculously expensive, yes I do (by the way, you can thank your local illegal immigrant for that: hospitals have to treat illegal aliens no matter what. Who pays for it? We do. As always.) Do I want the poor to have medical options? Of course. Do I think government should step in and ensure that everyone does? Heck the freak no. I hate government. It shouldn't be in our lives: exactly why people are trying to put it there is beyond me. Government was built to be inefficient. So remind me, why do we want it to take over health care? Furthermore, I studied social health care in Britain. My host family's son waited 10 months for knee surgery. He could barely walk. The hold-up? Thousands of people flood the system with problems such as "my baby hasn't pooped in two hours, I'm a little bit concerned." Yes, really, when it's free, they'll take it. Everyone will. Thus, the system doesn't shift out those who really need it from those who have nothing else to do. It makes it too inefficient. Also, doctors are not paid more so there is little incentive for them to do a good job. So recommending government take over this problem is ludacris. Does the healthcare system need to be fixed? Yes, phew, everyone can agree there. Does the government need to step in? Heck no. The government will just screw things up even more: unfortunately, that's just the reality.

I would love to be a liberal. I would love to dwell in idealism. But my common sense forbids me to do it. Now, does basing decisions on common sense make for better solutions? Is my grasp on reality correct? Ah, that's going to need more wall-staring.

Firestone Grammar

2008-08-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

The mighty giant has crumbled. by giant I mean Alex's refusal to go back to Firestone and by crumbled i mean he re-applied and was consequently re-hired. on his last day at firestone he firmly told me that he would NEVER go back to that place. This statement was often repeated and at times intertwined with the words "hate letter." I am not sure whether the later ever materialized. pretty sure it didn't. good thing. the market here is horrible. picture this: a new couple eager to start their lives and find new opportunities arrives at church, only for their dreams of "starting over" to be assaulted by phrases such as "Phoenix is one of the hardest hit areas for the recession," (sidenote: recession? not quite sure), and "unemployment is very high in our stake," "resume-writing seminars every day," "new ward calling as an employment specialist," and so forth. What did we do? The same thing anybody would do when they learn their plan is not going to work. Sit there. Sit there and think of angry phrases, maybe even a speech, aimed at no one in general. Chewing out some unknown person for an hour or two in your brain is a good stress reliever. You get the right phrasing down, the tone, the expressions, so that when you met that person you know exactly what to say. strange that person always fails to morph from illusion into reality. probably a good thing too. Alex was more proactive. He filled out applications and handed out resumes all day. Nothing happened. So, he went back to the place that he knew would take him back. kinda like going back to a hideous nagging old girlfriend not because you want to but rather because it's all you got.

Looking over the previous paragraph, I have apparently decided consistent capitalization is over-rated. Also new in the Katie Jones grammar world is my obsessive use of the comma is waning. The comma was my best grammatical friend. We were BFF's comma and I; from Boxcar Children through Emerson, it was always there for me, providing mental breaks, and separating out clear, concise thoughts. But I am getting over it. Next on my list of punctuation BFF's is the colon. Professors told me not to use it: I thought their idea was ludicrous. I love it! Know what else is waning? My hatred of the exclamation mark. It always made me feel like someone was shouting at me. Now I don't mind it so much, but I wouldn't allow it to sit with me at the lunch table. Nope, I use it on occasion, but it belongs to the other side of the cafeteria with the hyphen. Who would I like to be grammar buddies with? That's easy. Ellipses. It's pretty much awesome, but not very professional. I am not artistic enough with language to harness the power of the ellipses. i am just going to have to stick with the comma. maybe upgrade to the semicolon.

Seriously, just give me the news

2008-07-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to watch the news on local stations for some time. Why? Because everytime I tune in I immediately want to throw something at the TV. Broadcasting (sorry, Wendy) is no longer existent. It reminds me of elementary school when a nervous parent or guest speaker has to come in and desperately try to entertain eight-year-old kids with awful jokes and dialogue that had no point. We weren't fooled then. We knew we were being handed little more than verbal crap. And that is exactly what newscasting is, verbal crap.

Just give me the facts. That's all I want. Just facts. I don't care that your dog looked thristy this morning, or that your dad is left-handed, or that your grandma slept in. We all know that half the stories you tell are fake.. The good relationships you try to portray are more than likely a facade. As soon as the cameras turn off, you are cussing out your co-workers. So, please, save us 30 minutes of our lives and just report the news. That's what we pay you to do.

Let me give you an example of what happened this morning on AZ Fox news during the weather report:

Weatherman WHILE at the greenboard: "So, as you see here, AZ will still be hot Monday through Fri...(interrupted by ONE cough). Bless you, are you doing OK?"

Girl Anchor: "Sure, I'm fine, just got a peanut in my windpipe."

Weatherman: "Oh, that's too bad. You should drink some more coffee with that." (insert fake laugh from all on set)

Cameraman pans back to main set

Male Anchor: "Yeah, the last thing she need is more coffee! She is so hyper in the morning"

Girl Anchor: "Oh my gosh, my grandmother woke up this morning and couldn't believe that I drank so much coffee. I was like, 'grandma, where have you been?' and she was like 'I don't know, asleep!" (insert a long fake laugh from those on set)

Katie at home: "Just give me the freakin' news! That's all I want. I don't care! I just want the news."

This is just a glimpse, folks, a GLIMPSE , of the horror that fills broadcasts around the nation. I should have done a study on how much of newscasts are actually telling the news. I seriously think it is down to about 45%.

Where, oh where, is Walter?

In the Middle of the Desert, in the Middle of July

2008-07-25T15:10:00.000-07:00

The husband likes to golf. He likes it so much, that he gave me golf clubs for my pre-anniversary gift. That was sweet. What I totally under-estimated is what a dedicated golfer he is. Very dedicated. "What do you mean by that, Katie?" Let me explain. Alex goes golfing at 2 pm (still no job). You see, the rates are way lower then because NOBODY goes golfing during that time. There is a reason for that. Please see below story:

"Man, honey, I feel like a complete slacker. I hardly exercise anymore."

"Come to the golf course with me, baby, it will be a good work out."

"OK, sure, yes, I can walk 18 holes."

We get to the golf course. I am excited because I LOVE to walk and have not had the opportunity lately (side note: two kids were abducted from ASU this week. I saw the posters in the library.) Halfway through the first hole, the heat hit me. Let's all be honest, it hit me as soon as I walked out of our apartment. You heard me right, the Jones' had the bright idea of going golfing in the middle of July, in the middle of the desert. The temperature fluctuated between 112 and 115 degrees that day.

I have no clue how Alex does it. He walks the whole way, carrying his golf clubs, swings his golf clubs, puts them back in the bag, and so forth. Let's check on Alex's wife. What is she doing this entire time? That's right, laying in the shade, pouring water all over her face while fanning herself with the score card, and watching the few people who are out there going by on golf carts thinking how worthless her education is since it did not help her think of THAT solution. Bless her heart. To give you a clue how desperate my situation was, I willingly shared the shade with LIZARDS. I hate them. As soon as I die I am going to have a serious talk with Noah about why he allowed some animals on the arc- all reptiles should have drowned. Mankind had the opportunity to kill them. Kill them all. I fail to see why we didn't take it. As soon as we finished 9 holes Alex took me back to the clubhouse to "cool down my core body temperature." He got me ice, water, and coke. I sat back, hiked my pants up as far as I could and watched E news in a very chilly clubhouse. What was Alex doing during all of this? He was outside on the chipping green practicing his putting skills. He came back in to get me and the conversation went like this:

"Ready to finish the rest?"

"I think I would rather slit my wrists."

"Come on, we paid $9 bucks to play today."

"Alex, I will pay you $20 to quit right now." (insert look of disapproval from husband.)

I went out carrying my coke. The second half wasn't too bad. My body got better used to it. The sun was blocked by a cloud and that helped a lot. However, the cloud dissipated around hole 14. Then it really sucked. All in all I learned a couple of things from the experience:

1) I am not in shape.
2) I need to get in shape.
3) My parents taught me how to "suck up" situations my whole life. I failed to do so that afternoon. I didn't complain, not once, but I shouldn't have let the heat get to me as much as it did.
4) I hate reptiles. I think I am developing a phobia. As soon as I am in any position of power, I will see to their ultimate destruction. That's right. Mayor Kathryn Jones' first act will be a "NOTICE- destroy all reptiles that you see. Permission to carry any firearm, slingshot, bow and arrow, or rock granted. Failing to do so is failing your country." Did you know they did that in China when I was there? The Chinese are very superstitious and believed that dogs carried disease. So you could be walking your dog in China (mind you this was only a year ago, to the day actually) and your neighbor could kill it, right then, right there, and it was perfectly legal. That's a heinous crime. Killing dogs. Killing reptiles? A service to mankind.
5) My husband is amazing. He walked far more than I did (chasing around the ball), never sought shade, never rushed the process of golf so he could get through it faster, and the only thing he complained about was his performance on hole 13.

All in all, there are two things I want you to get from this blog
1) Never go golfing on a sunny day in the middle of July, in the middle of Arizona.
2) I will judge you if you like reptiles

By the way, guess where Alex is right now? That's right, walking 18 holes of golf. It's only about 108, though, so maybe not that bad. Where is his wife? That's right, sitting in their apartment- having a fun ol' air conditioning, toenails drying, fan blowing, good book reading, time.

"Going Green?"- fly around with Al Gore, he'll explain it to you

2008-07-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

This post may infuriate you. I realize that. Feel free to leave a comment afterward. I am no Stalin of the blog world. But "Going Green" is the BIGGEST joke I have EVER heard. No, being senisble when it comes to our Eath is not a big joke, but trying to insitutionalize it is. Or the mere idea that we can "save" it. It really is. Heck, actors, singers, TV producers, and politicians all support "going green." To anyone with the least bit of common sense, that should tell you something. Jessica Alba is telling you to recycle plastics, better do it.
Scientists are actually split on the issue. Let me clarify, they agree the Earth is getting hotter (mind you, by a whole half-a-degree), but they are split about what is actually causing it. Some believe we are causing it (hence the whole going green campaign), and others believe it is just the natural course the earth takes. I believe the latter. Unfortunately, the only ones that get published in the NY Times are those projecting we are going to die in a ball of fire by 2013 unless everyone start biking to work. That's what we all LOVE to hear. Gloom and doom. And what I love most about all those gloom and doom scientists? EVERYTHING, according to them, is evidence of global warming. Hurricane? Tsunami? Tornado? Trust them, those weren't around as much until Inconvenient Truth came out on video.
"Katie," you say with your hands on your hips, "you just hate our environment and want to see it all burn." Absolutely incorrect. Do I think we should recycle? You bet. Do I think we should clean up after ourselves and leave as little of a footprint as possible? Of course. Conversely, I do not think government has the right to go into public school and teach 5 year olds that unless they start helping mommy and daddy drive less, they will not have a world when they grow up. Nor do I believe you have the right to stare down Suburban drivers on the road (well, you have the right, I just think your reasoning is ill-founded). Why do I believe this? The following reasons:
1) Who brought all of this up? Al Gore. A politician quickly fading in the spotlight and desperately needed to get back in it. Nobody finds it all suspicious that the man that tells you not to use your air conditioning and overall "decrease your carbon footprint" flies around on a private jet and has a 30,000 square foot home which he keeps at optimal temperature? Nobody? Come on. That indeed the very man that brought this to the forefront of everyone's attention is one of the biggest energy consumers of all? Still Nobody? That's OK. We understand. He needs that jet to tell everyone about global warming. Now, who is supporting Al Gore? Actresses, actors, singers, and so forth. That's right. More people, more private jets, more big homes, more Escalades rolling on 20's. Seriously, nobody finds this suspicious? Now, somebody, please, raise your hand. This is borderline mockery.
2) The Earth has been around a lot longer than us. Isn't it a little snooty to think that WE control it's destiny? We have stewardship. Sure. But optimal power? I don't think so.
3) Does anybody remember that brief chapter in Earth Science about the ice age? Ice apparently covered a lot of the earth, and then, somehow, it was gone. All of that ice gone. The earth warmed up: I guess it experienced "Global warming." No Ford Explorers on the road or Al Gores in the air then. I wonder how that happened? I bet those audacious cave men started one too many fires. That's how. Curse them.
4) Some interesting facts: you actually use MORE energy biking to work than driving. Because of the amount of energy it takes to get food to you-growing it, trucking it, you going to the store, and so forth- it would be better if you just drove and not waste those precious, energy-filled calories. Driving your Ford Explorer would actually better save the Earth. Am I supporting such a notion? No. We could all use a little more exercise, but it does but into perspective how silly this all is. Second, wanting to prove to Al-Gore what a die-hard you are -buy a Hybrid. Although, I must warn you that the production of a hybrid causes by far more fuel emissions than the production of a regular vehicle. You see the frame is manufactured in one country, then shipped to another, and then another, and then another. And that giant battery? Good luck on trying to recycle it. I guess it will just sit in all of its toxic waste in some lot.
I do advocate taking the bus, biking, walking, picking up after ourselves, and so forth. But I will be the last person to judge someone for driving a Hummer. If they want to pay for gas, more power to them. What do I hate about "Going Green"? It is has taught us little more than to point our fingers at others, "Did you see that, Lyle? Mr. Maise does not recycle his glass! Let's judge him." We should take care of our earth, but it is far out of the jurisdiction of government to mandate how we do so.

School's In

2008-07-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

My first day of school was two days ago. I am only taking two classes this summer term (lasting about 5 weeks), and I am going to study on my own for an American politics course that I need to pass through ASU. My first course was Organizational Behavior. The majority of my classmates seem a little older than me, circa late twenties, early thirties. I had a bad first impression. "So, where did you go to undergrad school?" "Well, I was accepted to Harvard but eventually went to PU" (I hadn't the slightest clue about two things: a) why it was necessary to inform me about an application she filled out at the age of eighteen and b) what/where PU was.) Second girl was quizzed, "So, how hard do you think the program is?" "Well, for me it is not too hard. I am holding down two jobs and take as many credit hours as possible. But I have always been like that." Wow. I had nothing further to say. The two talked about the inabilities of everyone else amongst their mutual acquaintance for the ensuing half hour. Finally the professor walked in. Relief! She seems nice, polite, and entirely, well, out there. She began by talking about our feelings. That's right, feelings. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I shut down with the word "feelings." It makes me uncomfortable. Reading the assigned chapters, however, I have discovered I am emotionally unintelligent; that's why I am uncomfortable. The first part to solving a problem is admitting you have one. "Hi, my name is Katie, and I have a problem...I am emotionally unintelligent." There, tuition money at work. What does she want us to get out of the class? A heightened awareness of ourselves, along with a new-found appreciation for what we can do well. These objectives I can appreciate, sure, why not. As my mother pointed out "How much are you spending on this course? Oh, well, that's a lot cheaper than a phsycologist." And so it is. She wants us to have close family members/friends write an essay about what we do well (thanks again to Carolyn, mom, and naturally Alex.) Alex picked me up afterward. I got in the car a little unsure of what I was getting myself into. I wasn't sure if all of this "structureless feel-gooderie" was worth the money I was putting into it. His wise counsel was to wait until tomorrow.
501 is the Quantitative analysis of Public Policy. The class is going to be hard, but I can tell I will thoroughly enjoy it. I really enjoy the professor, the peers I met were wonderful, and overall I like the structure of the course. I like structure( allow me to say that this admission actually adds to by emotional intelligence as it heightens my self-awareness). So, perhaps it will be good to have a class that is out of my comfort zone. I am really happy to be at ASU and to be back in school. I forgot how much I enjoy it.

What Africa Could do for the American Woman

2008-07-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading the news of about Africa today. And it hit me that it offers all the things American women are searching for: effective weight loss programs, great tans, and heightened self-esteems. I think I will start a program of flying American women to remote parts of Africa in order to obtain their goals.
Allow me to elaborate:

1) Great weight loss programs. You don't get any better than Africa when it comes to weight loss. The people have it mastered. Want to lose weight, but can't say "no" to that chocolate-covered donut? Africa is the place for you. Place yourself in the middle of war-torn Congo and no donuts, sweets, and even carbs will be in sight for miles upon miles. Desperately want to get to one? That can be tricky as corrupted government officials and African war lords have control of most of the roads and airports. You see, Africa has this thing called "starvation," for the American consumer, let 's call it "a highly-effective, guaranteed results, rigid diet plan." We could even pay some guy in spandex, not-quite-a-mullet, and a loud voice to get on TV and say, "Tired of failing diet plan after diet plan? Tired of keeping those old pants from college, hoping that one day you will fit into them? Have I got the answer for you. We do the self-discipline for you. That's right. No choices with this diet plan. The weight just drops off, and you can't do a single thing about it."
Now, this begs the question, what will this diet plan entail: Well, I think I would implement two options, the "Food Abundant but no Touchy-Touchy" or the "No Food Insight." Really, people, it's what ever you prefer. The person that is really ambitious should go for the first option. A common misconception is that Africa has no food. Actually, it is a very fertile land, the problem is that it has no food rights. So, the people grow the food for the government or some other corrupt war lord, but can't eat it. Under this plan, you would grow the food, but if you ate it, you would get shot. That's right, eat and die. Now you have to admit, this is a MUCH more effective weight loss program than either Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig could come up with. Under the second, well, we would send you to a part of Africa, say Sudan, and simply deprive you of food except for half a cup of rice that the peacekeeper hands you everyday. Want more? You'll have to kill for it.
2) You'll get a great tan. We will not refund your money if you get skin cancer.
3) Higher self-esteem. The self-esteem portion really comes through three avenues. The first is obvious, your weight loss. Everyone feels good once they loose weight. The second comes from the service that you will do. Why do service when you are starving? It burns calories faster. Besides, how could you deprive a group of small children with bellies full of worms a schoolhouse? You couldn't. Cities and towns in Africa are in desperate need of schools, hospitals, churches, homes, etc. And you are just the person to help them build it. Service naturally gives way to higher self-esteem because you thought about the needs of other people for a few hours out of the day. The third way is all of the "one-uppers" conversations you will win when you get home. What do I mean? Common, we have all been there. Picture this, you are at Chili's with a couple of girlfriends, talking over chips, salsa and diet cokes, when one says, "You know, this reminds me when I was in London, and my boyfriend and I were looking for Westminster Abbey and ran into this woman who knew right off we were Americans." Now, my dear friends, the narration was not the result of poor writing, but indeed what people actually say when trying to "one-up" you. The comment had nothing of consequence in it. No, the poor girl just wanted to inform everyone that she went to London. Not to be outdone, the second friend says this, "Well, I knew in Rome that everyone was starring at me. Even after I lived there for four months. People never got used to my blonde hair and blue eyes." Hear that? Rome is not cooler than London because they are both easily identifiable, but the four months is what won the conversation. Finally, you say this "Yeah, when I was in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe and lived with a family of five kids, parents died of AIDS, nobody cared that I was American. We got up every morning at 3 am to chip away at rocks. We collected the rock dust which we sold to cement companies. Hopefully, after 1o hours of work, it was enough dust to buy half a loaf of magety bread. It usually wasn't. At night I worked on a orphanage for the orphans. All we had to build it out of was mud. The government controlled the roads and wouldn't allow for any brick or wood to get through. When it rains...those poor kids...and usually, late at night, we would have to deal with African war lord raids..." There, you did it, you one-uped them. In fact, you had them all at Bulawayo, Zimbabwe.

So, there you have it, American woman. Why spend thousands of dollars on diets, self-esteem seminars, and tanning beds? The achievement of all your goals is only a plane-ride away.

***Alex thought it best that I add a disclaimer that I truly do not believe the above. No, I was just reading the news about Africa and realized that what they do not have, we have too much of (food, etc.) and what we do not have, they have more than enough to give us (gratitude, humility, and so forth). It is so paradoxical. And, in truth, I believe that more cross-cultural exchange would be beneficial for everyone. The above is obviously a parody, but there are embedded principles of truth. Dig deep.

How was Phoenix ever settled?

2008-07-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

We got into Phoenix Wednesday night. We promptly started to unload the truck at 5 pm. It was above 110 degrees. Not to mention (does anyone else wonder how that term came into existence? No really, enlighten me. Because why would you say "not to mention," when you are already mentioning it, doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of the phrase?) that Alex and I spent the entire previous day loading the truck, cleaning out window tracks with Q-tips, and got about 3 hours of sleep that night. Driving was hell too. A 9 hour trip took 12 for the following reasons: we were driving a moving truck, Alex and I were drinking coke after coke to stay awake, and there was SO much construction. To say the least, Alex and I STRUGGLED unloading that truck. Each trip (it was about 50 yards from truck to the base of our stairs, and then up the stairs) was followed by a few seconds in front of a fan, a drink of hot water (cold was not to be found, even out of the faucet) and "planning" what needed to be done next. The planning was completely unnecessary. What needed to be planned? Nothing. We just needed to haul boxes out of truck. No "planning" was just a way to relax for a few seconds without having to utter the embarrassing words "I think I need a break."
And then came poor JR. He was the only one from the ward that showed up. Apparently, five guys were supposed to come, but JR was the only sucker that followed through. He helped tremendously, but was a little of an inconvenience as all unnecessary "planning" ceased. So, we worked and worked until I buckled. I was emotionally, physically drained and I felt so sorry for JR. Everybody hates moving, and I felt bad keeping the poor guy there. So, it was decided that the couch and the bed were to come in and Alex and I would get the rest in the morning. We got up at 5:30 am to beat the heat. Unfortunately, it was still above 90 degrees, but definitely better than 110.
Now you may be thinking, "Katie, what's the big deal, once it reaches 90, it all feels the same." I thought so too, my dear friends, I thought so too. But, 110 feels more like an oven than an earth. Keeping the air conditioning on is no longer a matter of convenience and comfort, but of health. You get in the car and everything burns you. Some people wear gloves in the car. I think that's going a little overboard, but you get the general idea. It makes me wonder how this area was even settled. What poor sap set foot in this land, covered in rock and sand, with a few palm trees, and SCORCHING heat, and thought "what a lovely place to build a summer home"? You can probably argue that for any place on earth. I suppose you just adapt to your environment. I hope I adapt to Phoenix. So far, I have a firm testimony of air conditioning and cold water. What is fairly funny is that ice cold water vending machines have taken the place of coke vending machines. You find them outside of laundry mats, grocery stores, and gas stations.